| Subject: Chat with jen corbett |
| From: jen corbett <jennifer.e.corbett@gmail.com> |
6:00 PM me: I apologise for the way in which I've been handling this
you are right with regards to me being self-centered
but I'm not quite as self-centered as I may seem right now
6:01 PM much of it is simply the unusual and very chaotic situation that I've been in recently
and this has added to my inability to be what I want to be and should be regarding the two of us
6:02 PM again, you're obviously aware of and have been very patient with the things that have been going on recently
jen: do you want to meet up and talk abou tthis?
i really would like to talk face to face
me: but those things aren't anywhere near the totality of the problem
6:03 PM i am very stressed out insomuch as that my book must be completed in the next week or so
and it must be great
or I lose an opportunity that could very well define my career
yes, I do want to talk face to face
6:04 PM soon
but first
I want to make you understand that the delay in doing that is not a sign of me not being committed to this
6:05 PM rather, I am under several very intense obligations both to myself and others that need to be addressed right now
and I was willing to put a hold on my due article yesterday to come talk to you, and am sorry I was late
jen: consider this an intense obligation of the utmost
6:06 PM me: but I've simply had to take care of a couple of these responsibilities over the past 24 hours
jen: again
i'm not peripheral
me: and I understand you might see this as me brushing you off
exactly, see?
but it's not
6:07 PM jen: i still perceive it that way
me: it's just that, if these things had not been accomplished, I'd be in real danger of financial and personal and creative collapse
jen: blah blah blah
6:08 PM me: and I would not be worth the trouble for you at that point
okay, nevermind
jen: barrett barrett barrett
YOU have to understand
6:09 PM that I will always make allowances for things when i can
but i can't deal with your self importance
6:10 PM and your drama
me: very well
I don
I'll be perfectly honest
6:12 PM I don't think that my anxiety over the responsibilities I have to myself and to other people really constitutes "self-importance" in the way that you mean it
For instance, the Pete situation
tiff, as you told me, is scared of Pete
and she's right to be
because he is, in fact, a violent criminal
jen: please stop
me: and it is my fault
jen: name one similar situation in my life
6:13 PM me: look
jen: no
6:15 PM me: I don't think this is going to be a productive discussion based on your responses. Either I'm a loon and totally wrong to point out these problems as extenuating circumstances regarding whatever I've done wrong, or you're simply not going to acknowledge that I have anything at all to point to as extenuating, or both, but either way, I don't think this is going to be resolved, in which case you are going to end this anyway
6:16 PM jen: I think that you refuse to take responsibility for yourself and that you are not capable of understanding the world from anyone's point of view but your own, at present
me: I know that you think that
6:17 PM and I understand that I've given you cause to think that
jen: and no cause not to except your words that are not translating into action
me: and many of your criticisms are demonstrably true
6:18 PM but it is not true that I don't understand the position and feelings of others
in fact, that's extraordinarily untrue
and even people I
6:19 PM have known who might be understandably critical of me in some requests will say the same
having said all that
you are perfectly right to be unhappy with my failings
6:20 PM jen: think of the many failings I have not cared about
me: but I don't think I can address these failings right now, and it sounds like you agree
jen: it sounds like you want to make it easy for me to dump poor Barrett
tragic
6:21 PM me: okay, I'll have Straub bring your computer by tomorrow
I appreciate everything you've done for me
and I know you
are going to be very successful and happy in your work