Re: Fwd: Barrett EDIT

512-560-2302

On Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 10:55 AM, <jamiekilstein@gmail.com> wrote:

That is for real the coolest thing ever. Let me know if you will need anything from us. And let's try to hook up next week for coffee and plotting
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From: Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 4 Nov 2009 09:58:47 -0500
To: jamie kilstein<jamiekilstein@gmail.com>; Allison Kilkenny<allisonkilkenny@gmail.com>

Subject: Fwd: Barrett EDIT

Looks like the piece on you two will appear around December or so. Keep me updated on any big events or happenings that might come up.

Thanks,

Barrett

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Paul Caine <pcaine@theonion.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 5:21 PM
Subject: Re: Barrett EDIT
To: Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>

Go ahead and do the article, and we can tie it into to some sort of event that one or both of them does. When would you be able to have the lobster piece in by? Thanks,

Paul

On Tue, Oct 27, 2009 at 1:48 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi-

Let's start with the Kilkenny/Kilstein piece. The two of them host Citizen Radio, which this weekend is doing this huge round table with Noam Chomsky, Janeane Garofalo, Barbara Ehrenreich, Melissa Harris Lacewell, Howard Zinn, and others. Sorry, my font just changed because I pasted those names in. Soon they're going to start doing their show live at some Manhattan venue, like on a stage or some such, so that should be kind of a nifty contribution to New York political culture. Additionally, I believe Jamie has some big shows coming up as well. Want me to go ahead and tie it to the venue thing?

On Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 11:15 AM, Paul Caine <pcaine@theonion.com> wrote:
Hi Barrett,

So sorry for the delay.

-Could you elaborate a bit on the lobster pitch? It's a great idea, but which ones were you planning on visiting? How many? And how would it look? If you did that kind of feature, it might be better if wasn't written as prose but rather as "5 bulletproof lobster platters," something like this:

The restaurant: Happy Family
The dish: Lobster rangoon, $9
The verdict: blah blah

Any thoughts on that?

-Andrew Straub sounds like a cool guy, but I'm not sure many people will have heard of him. If you did that story, you'd need a strong anglebe it a hobo's guide to brooklyn, or making a horror-porn film on the cheap...etc. Something where he's the guide, but it's not really about him, if that makes sense. So if you have a more specific concept for that, send it over.

-I like the comedy couple pitchis there some event in the next 1-2 months we could tie it into?

Thanks,
Paul

On Wed, Oct 21, 2009 at 4:44 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
Howdy-

Did you get my queries?

Thanks,

Barrett

On Fri, Oct 9, 2009 at 3:49 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi, Paul-

Here are those ideas:

1. Cheap lobster - a lot of bullet-proof glass Chinese restaurants actually have lobster, and some of them actually do lobster fairly well. I'll search for the best.

2. Axis of Deliciousness - the best Afghan, Iraqi, and Persian food to be found in the area. I've got several good leads.

3. Andrew Straub - a profile of the b-movie actor and screenwriter, acclaimed French chef, Brooklyn native, and author of The Hobo's Guide (itself taken from his experiences as a homeless junkie as a teenager, and including tons of great cooking tips). This could in turn focus on either gonzo cuisine, the zombie crawl scene, the Burning Angel/weird porn scene (he co-wrote The XXXorcist and has worked on some Troma projects), or whatever.

4. Allison Kilkenny and Jamie Kilstein - the profile piece I mentioned a while back.

Let me know if any of these interest you.

On Thu, Oct 8, 2009 at 2:05 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Lol 2 da max. I'll use that, thanks.

On Thu, Oct 8, 2009 at 2:04 PM, Paul Caine <pcaine@theonion.com> wrote:

No problem. Also, I clicked over to Mr. McCain's site, only to be greeted with a very amusing third-party advertisement. See image below

On Thu, Oct 8, 2009 at 1:58 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

I'll have some pitches to you a bit later this afternoon. Sorry for the delay; I have been in some weird conflict with a racist former Washington Times editor.

On Wed, Oct 7, 2009 at 4:14 PM, Paul Caine <pcaine@theonion.com> wrote:
Oh, and please send more pitches. Don't know if I mentioned that before. Thanks!

Paul

On Tue, Sep 29, 2009 at 4:41 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Let me know if this works:

"Money can't buy love," we are often told, presumably by someone who has never tried. But even to the extent this little saying might be true, it remains misleading. As a thought experiment, say you happen to find yourself alone on an island, far from another island filled with attractive people. All the virtues in the world aren't going to get you loved, or even fondled; you'll need a speedboat, too. And money to buy a speedboat. Love is complicated.

Love is also expensive, a fact that's obvious to those whose mating strategy hinges on visits to bars. The economical enthusiast of sex will seek out watering holes with a favorable ratio of money spent to willing mammals met. A couple such bars may be found in the wilds of Williamsburg and the barrios of Bushwick, two neighborhoods where you're most likely to find yourself at night if you happen to be young, broke, and pretty. Both bars feature unusually high ratios of good-looking patrons who are either single or pretending to be, and neither is quite as expensive as the average Manhattan lounge.

Spending an evening at Union Pool (484 Union Avenue) may very well be New York's most surefire method of obtaining sex that doesn't involve Craigslist and crystal meth. Patrons tend to be reasonably attractive; they are also kind enough to come in a wide variety of models, including hot little female Maoist bass players, fun-loving European emigres, gay black fashion designers, and, of course, the inevitable legions of artistic types who have decided that their lives would be vastly improved by a beard.

The drinks at Union Pool aren't extraordinarily cheap: well drinks go for $5. But you can get two cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon for the same amount, and the real value of Union Pool lies in the array of strategic advantages that await those paramours willing to seize them. Outside, a large patio area encourages smoking and, consequently, the chance to meet your intended mate by way of the Asking For A Lighter Or A Cigarette method. There's also a concrete pond around which to sit, with this facilitating eye contact and awkward conversation. A taco truck is perpetually stationed out back as well; this will not help you.

It's a reasonable walk from there, down dark blocks and past the occasional fried-chicken emporium, to Beauty Bar, a watering hole that derives its name and novelty from Kennedy-era cosmetic kitsch and on-site manicures. There's a long-standing original near Union Square, but far superior is the newer Beauty Bar in Bushwick (921 Broadway), which provides a bit of comely glamour to those members of the creative class who find themselves trolling among the projects. Here, removed from the soul-crushing surroundings of flea markets stupid T-shirts, bargoers tend to be in an unusually exuberant mood, and thus susceptible to your wiles. Further exuberance stems from the fact that the few other bars in the area are largely male-oriented institutions geared more towards getting drunk than getting laid.

Beauty Bar places a marked emphasis on DJs, who themselves tend to place a marked emphasis on music played just loud enough to make shouting necessary. This may be problematic for those whose charms lie in conversation, but it also provides excellent cover for those who couldn't hold a conversation to save their life. Nor is this necessarily a fatal flaw even for the talkers; males in particular will find that sitting at the window to the right of the door will keep them as far as possible from the loudspeakers, while also strategically positioning them a foot away from the manicure table, where a constant flow of female customers helps to approximate something akin to speed dating.

Now, go forth and procreate; future generations cry out for life!

On Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 7:29 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
Sure thing, I'll get the revised version to you by tomorrow afternoon. I'll also have a couple of article ideas for you by then as well.

Thanks,

Barrett Brown
Brooklyn, NY
512-560-2302

On Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 6:24 PM, Paul Caine <pcaine@theonion.com> wrote:
Hi Barrett,

We edited your piece and we're still hung up on the ending. Basically, as readers we need to understand what's special about Beauty Barand why it's different than Union Pool. Noting that people who smoke outside can talk to one another feels limp, as you can do that at any bar. I've attached an edited copy with comments from my editor. Let me know what you think. If you can make editsessentially re-write the last grafand return it by tomorrow afternoon, that'd be ideal. Thanks much,

Paul

--
Paul Caine
NY Assistant City Editor The A.V. Club
900 Broadway, Suite 203
New York, NY 10003
p 212-777-3700 x232 | f 212-777-3716
newyork.avclub.com
twitter.com/AVClubNY

--
Paul Caine
NY Assistant City Editor The A.V. Club
900 Broadway, Suite 203
New York, NY 10003
p 212-777-3700 x232 | f 212-777-3716
newyork.avclub.com
twitter.com/AVClubNY

--
Paul Caine
NY Assistant City Editor The A.V. Club
900 Broadway, Suite 203
New York, NY 10003
p 212-777-3700 x232 | f 212-777-3716
newyork.avclub.com
twitter.com/AVClubNY

--
Paul Caine
NY Assistant City Editor The A.V. Club
900 Broadway, Suite 203
New York, NY 10003
p 212-777-3700 x232 | f 212-777-3716
newyork.avclub.com
twitter.com/AVClubNY

--
Paul Caine
NY Assistant City Editor The A.V. Club
900 Broadway, Suite 203
New York, NY 10003
p 212-777-3700 x232 | f 212-777-3716
newyork.avclub.com
twitter.com/AVClubNY