jen: Hey =) me: oh hai thar me: hai 2u jen: whattcha up to? me: zomg lol school sux :-( jen: ? me: cleaning up, smoking crack, brainstorming ideas for the pilot jen: smoking crack? jen: really? me: also e-mailing back the dozens of people who'd I hadn't bothered with due to heroin me: yep me: it's shitty crack, though me: not like Texas, I-35 corridor stuff jen: Barrett, wtf is wrong w/ you?! =) me: like I said me: anything I do now is progress jen: like not getting burned in a fire by jumping 40 stories me: exactly jen: logical me: at any rate, it's pretty much just coke jen: at least tell me you've opted for the class of a car antennae instead of a pipe? =) me: lol, afraid not me: I like to go all the way jen: well, smoking crack is something I would end up doing, so I don't want to be around it me: I'm just doing a little today me: never had a problem with it before, it's not my thing me: but it covers my muscle aches, etc. jen: How are you feeling? me: pretty good me: got my appetite back, can concentrate on work, etc me: just took a couple of ibuprofen jen: =) jen: glad to hear it me: turned down a chance to get a bag of H walking back me: like, free H that someone owed me me: so I'm cured jen: very glad jen: right jen: well, i hope it sticks this time =) me: we'll see. I'm pretty confident that it will. jen: i always tell myself that it's silly to think that a substance can have such control over me jen: but then I end up smoking or drinking for another phase =) me: right jen: i like that out of control, making a mess of my life feeling jen: for a while jen: until i've accomplished my goal me: yeah, it's fun up until that point jen: what is wrong with us? jen: =) me: genes me: plus environment jen: not me jen: hmm me: so, everything jen: not really me: very well jen: like i told you, i think i'm just crazy =) me: yep jen: =) me: SMILEY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 jen: ya, i over smiley face it jen: i don't care jen: i can't smile at you typing and I say a lot of fucked up shit that needs to be accompanied by a smile to make the tone i intend jen: =) jen: see? jen: ;) me: understood jen: So i gotta go to an experiment in a few minutes and then program in the eye tracking dungeon afterwards jen: i'm thinking i'll be done here around 8 or 9 me: eye tracking dungeon, very good jen: wanna hang out? me: I'll be around jen: I should work again me: give me a call when you get out of the dungeon or cure cognitive cancer or whatever you do me: sure jen: I will jen: Hey, i didn't mean to push you super far away or nething jen: just fyi jen: not really concerned for myself, but I would not forgive myself if I hurt you jen: sounds terrible in print jen: sorry =) me: sounds reasonable, actually me: my fault, I found the "I've trapped another girl" thing to be amusing so it probably sounded like I was declaring this to be a relationship jen: no, well, yes, and it is jen: sorta jen: i mean we're not "fucking" =) jen: it has potential to be a great relationship me: right me: and, again jen: just don't play stupid "i'm too cool, i don't care baby" jen: =) me: don't worry about deciding to end it and me getting depressed and going back to H, I'm not doing that again jen: well of course that is a concern jen: but moreso that I really do fuck up everything i touch romantically me: me too. should work out really well jen: =) jen: so we have a great miserable journey to look forward to jen: (needs a smiley face to make sense, huh?) me: I'm a fantastic ex-boyfriend jen: hmm jen: my ex-boyfriends don't speak to me ever again for various overly dramatic reasons me: that's gay jen: yes jen: well, let's hope you don't have to be gay me: yes, let's jen: Also, I don't mean to be like "auditioning" you or nething jen: like, let's see if he really does clean up. then I'm the prize at the end me: well, it was an unusual situation jen: never liked anyone w/out a substance abuse problem jen: hope it's correlated w/ a personality type at least me: that's a pretty reasonable approach on your end, at any rate. jen: what is? me: waiting to see if I can actually clean up jen: yes, but it's not like I wouldn't still be interested jen: it's just that I'm not retarded jen: that makes no sense me: it wouldn't have been fair to you jen: of course not jen: There are millions of guys out there jen: you don't make me want to stab at my brain w/ a pen jen: =) jen: through the ear of course me: yeah, but in NYC they're all effeminate hipsters and homos jen: hmm me: the white ones jen: well, there is an overabundance jen: =) me: very well jen: i gotta go to the experiment now jen: i like you so much, Barrett jen: I'll call you when I'm done at nyuu jen: =) me: I like you, too me: I'll be here