ha! Awesome. I quit all vice type things but we could hang for sure.
I'm not home till nov but if you want to do it start now. Get some of
the suck out. Going with people will just make you more nervy. I used
to bring a notebook and headphones.

Most comics do there own stuff for the most part but will always take
lines, tags ideas blah blah. I'm just real weird and like doing it
all. Maybe its an ego thing in which case i am a douche.

On Sat, Sep 26, 2009 at 3:32 AM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

I've actually wanted to go try my hand at an open mic night for a while now,
and I'm thinking that I'd like to go do it maybe in the next couple weeks or
so, after I make some tweaks and additions to what I've got so far. It would
be awesome if you could come along and give me a critique afterwards. I'll
even buy you dinner or drinks and give you some awesome pot that my roommate
has - it's seriously the best in New York, other dealers come from around
Bushwick to buy from him for their own pot needs. Give me some professional
advice and moral support and I'll reward you handsomely with handsome
riches.

Also, that's pretty admirable that you only do your own stuff; do most
comedians work that way?

On Mon, Sep 21, 2009 at 10:18 AM, jamie kilstein <jamiekilstein@gmail.com>
wrote:

Hey dude,

That's really fucking funny. I only do stuff I write but if you ever
want to try it at an open mike or something I would go with you for
sure. Take care, sorry we still have not hung out.

On Sat, Sep 19, 2009 at 7:07 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>
wrote:

Yo, Jamie-

Just remembered that I wrote a little stand-up material a few years
back.
Feel free to try any of this stuff out and see if it gets laughs.

When I was a kid, when my uncle came over for Christmas one year and
gave me
a scratch-off lottery ticket. Basically, he had given me a probability
whereby I might receive a Christmas gift.

Look, I need to make a confession, because I feel really bad about
something. I just made that whole thing up, about my uncle giving me a
lottery ticket for Christmas. That never happened. I don't know why I
said
it did. I don't even have an uncle. I guess I'm just a liar. Worse, I'm
a
thief, too. I used to steal lottery tickets from my uncle all the time
when
I was a kid.

You know those old movies where some British explorer is exploring a
pyramid
or some such and then he open a sarcophagus with a mummy in it, and then
the
mummy gets out and starts chasing the explorer with his hands
outstretched
like this, you know? What is the mummy going to do if he catches the
explorer? What is the mummy's motivation? Frankly, I can't imagine that
a
mummy would have any motivation whatsoever. And why would you run away
from
a mummy? He's been rotting. That doesn't make you stronger. Frankly, I'm
beginning to think that some of these movies are made up.

You want to know something really sad? Every time we discover a new
mummy,
it becomes that much less likely that we're going to find another one.
At
this point, we're probably not going to find any more mummies, so you're
just going to have to learn to enjoy the mummies you already have.

There was a poll that Time magazine did a few years back which revealed
that
twenty percent of Americans believe in witches. Twenty percent. Isn't
that
great? I really admire those people. Think how exciting that must be, to
believe that witches are running around and casting spells on things. I
could really use some excitement in my life. So I've decided to believe
in
werewolves. Making yourself believe in werewolves is a time-consuming
process. You have to spend a lot of time looking at pictures of hairy
people. I've been trying to get a picture of Robin Williams with his
shirt
off, for instance. I'm probably the only person who can say that.

Oh, just a quick announcement before I forget - if anyone is interested
in
buying some stolen lottery tickets, please come see me after the show.

Anyway, who wants to see me do some impressions? Too bad.

Just kidding. I like to do impressions, but I like to do them wrong. I
don't
like to feel constrained by convention. So I just do them how I want to
do
them. For instance, this whole time I've been talking, I've actually
been
doing an impression of Sean Connery. Did you catch that? And during the
parts when I wasn't actually being funny, I was doing Carlos Mencia. Now
I'm
going to do Arnold Schwarzenegger. (In robot voice) "LOOK AT ME, I'M
ARNOLD
SCHWARZENEGGER! I'M A BIG ROBOT, BEEP, BEEP, MALFUNCTION EARTH
HUMANOID!"
And here's Liz Taylor (in Mr. T voice) "I PITY THE FOOL THAT DOESN'T BUY
ME
SOME FUCKING DIAMONDS AND TAKE ME OUT TO EAT AT SOME FANCY RESTAURANT
OUT IN
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA OR PARIS OR SOMEWHERE LIKE THAT! I'M HUNGRY FOR SOME
CAKE, SUCKA!"

Oh my god, is that a werewolf back there? No, way in the back there...
okay,
I guess it's not. Well, you never know, do you?

Did you know that in Japanese culture, cats are considered symbols of
sexuality? Never, ever go to Japan. Ever. Not even a little bit.