Re: bar piece

On Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 5:25 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Yeah, I'll think about it and get back to you tomorrow. Any particular category of piece you're looking for? Restaurants, culture, etc?

On Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 10:54 AM, Paul Caine <pcaine@theonion.com> wrote:

Hi Barrett,

Wondering if you had any more pitches, etc. Send em over. Thanks,

Paul

On Tue, Sep 15, 2009 at 2:49 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi, Paul-

Here's the invoice:

Invoice 2

From: Barrett Brown

To: The Onion

One feature article, 701 words @ .12/word = $84.12

Please remit payment to:

Barrett Brown

37 Park Street #2

Brooklyn, NY

512-560-2302

On Mon, Sep 14, 2009 at 5:08 PM, Paul Caine <pcaine@theonion.com> wrote:

Yes pleasesorry for the delay in responding!

Paul

On Mon, Sep 7, 2009 at 5:28 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi, Paul-

Do I need to send in another invoice to receive payment for the most
recent two pieces I did?

Thanks,

Barrett Brown
Brooklyn, NY
512-560-2302

On Fri, Aug 21, 2009 at 12:39 PM, Paul Caine<pcaine@theonion.com> wrote:
> Hi Barrett,
>
> The piece is definitely more along the lines of what we were looking for. My
> editor has been out of town, but when he gets back I'll be sure to get in
> touch. Thanks!
>
> Paul
>
> On Fri, Aug 21, 2009 at 10:08 AM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>>
>> Howdy-
>>
>> Did the revision work for you guys? Also, do you have anything else you'd
>> like to assign, or should I send another query?
>>
>> Thanks,
>>
>> Barrett Brown
>> Brooklyn, NY
>> 512-560-2302
>>
>> On Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 9:13 AM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>>
>>> Yo-
>>>
>>> Let me know if this works better. I can make any additional changes this
>>> morning if need be (had stuff going on yesterday, usually can make these
>>> sorts of tweaks much more quickly).
>>>
>>> "Money can't buy love," we are told, presumably by someone who's never
>>> tried. Even to whatever extent that this little saying is true, it remains
>>> misleading; if you happen to find yourself alone on an island, say, far from
>>> another island where may be found some hundred or so attractive people, all
>>> the virtues in the world aren't going to get you married or even fondled.
>>> You'll need a speedboat. And money to buy a speedboat. Love is complicated.
>>>
>>> Like a speedboat, love is also expensive. Those whose mating strategy
>>> hinges on visits to bars are well aware of the costs inherent to an
>>> efficient evening of romantic pursuit. The economical enthusiast of sex will
>>> thus seek out those watering holes with a favorable ratio of money spent to
>>> willing mammals met. Conveniently enough, two such bars may be found in
>>> Brooklyn, where you're most likely to find yourself living if you happen to
>>> be young, broke, and pretty. Both bars feature unusually high ratios of
>>> attractive patrons who are either single or pretending to be, and neither is
>>> quite as expensive as the average Manhattan pick-up lounge.
>>>
>>> Spending an evening at the misleadingly monikered Union Pool (484 Union
>>> Avenue) may very well be New York's most surefire method of obtaining sex
>>> that doesn't involve Craigslist and crystal meth. Patrons tend to be single
>>> and reasonably attractive. They are also kind enough to come in a wide
>>> variety of models, including hot little female Maoist bass players,
>>> fun-loving European émigrés of every stripe and flavor, gay black fashion
>>> designers who buck gay male orthodoxy by hanging out with attractive chicks
>>> instead of ugly ones, and, of course, the inevitable legions of white
>>> artistic types who have decided that their lives would be improved by a
>>> beard.
>>>
>>> The drinks at Union Pool aren't extraordinarily cheap: Well drinks go for
>>> $5, for instance, although you can get two cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon for the
>>> same amount. The real value of Union Pool lies in the array of strategic
>>> advantages that await those willing to seize them. Outside, for instance, a
>>> large patio area encourages smoking and, consequently, the
>>> asking-your-intended-mate-for-a-lighter-or-cigarette method of introduction.
>>> Several meters of stonemasonry serve as a fire pit in winter and the Western
>>> equivalent of a koi pond throughout summer; winter, then, allows one to sit
>>> in a geometrically advantageous circle, thereby facilitating eye contact and
>>> conversation. A taco truck is perpetually stationed out back as well; this
>>> will not help you.
>>>
>>> Beauty Bar is a national mini-chain of watering holes that derive their
>>> name and novelty from Kennedy-era cosmetic kitsch and on-site manicures.
>>> Locations tend to pop up in gentrifying neighborhoods, with the one near
>>> Union Square being a notable exception. Far superior is the newer Bushwick
>>> operation (921 Broadway), which bears the great responsibility of providing
>>> a bit of glamor to those members of the creative class who find themselves
>>> living among the projects. Here, neighborhood residents make a sudden escape
>>> from the surrounding world of flea markets and stupid t-shirts; as a
>>> consequence, attendees tend to be in an unusually exuberant mood and thus
>>> susceptible to your wiles (note that if you yourself are from the
>>> neighborhood, you may in turn be susceptible to the wiles of others). By
>>> contrast, the few other bars in the area are largely male-oriented
>>> institutions geared exclusively towards getting drunk, not laid.
>>>
>>> In terms of successful pick-ups, Bushwick's Beauty Bar provides a
>>> different set of challenges and advantages than does Union Pool. There's a
>>> marked emphasis on DJs, who themselves tend to put a marked emphasis on
>>> music just loud enough to make shouting necessary; this may be problematic
>>> for those whose charms lay in conversation, while those whose charms lay in
>>> smiling, dancing, and maybe nodding their heads a bit will be all set.
>>> Still, the talkers have their chance, particularly if the talkers happen to
>>> be smokers as well; the scene out front is so consistently promising that
>>> just hanging out near the doorway makes for a fine evening out in and of
>>> itself. And if you don't smoke yet, consider starting up; cigarettes are
>>> delicious.
>>>
>>> Now, go forth and procreate; future generations cry out for life!
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Tue, Aug 18, 2009 at 10:59 AM, Paul Caine <pcaine@theonion.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Great, thanks.
>>>>
>>>> Paul
>>>>
>>>> On Tue, Aug 18, 2009 at 9:48 AM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi, Paul-
>>>>>
>>>>> Looks pretty straightforward. I'll make these changes and get it back
>>>>> to you today.
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks,
>>>>>
>>>>> Barrett Brown
>>>>> Brooklyn, NY
>>>>> 512-560-2302
>>>>>
>>>>> On Tue, Aug 18, 2009 at 9:35 AM, Paul Caine <pcaine@theonion.com>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi Barrett,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I really like the piece, though I have a couple of
>>>>>> questions/suggestions. First of all, it's never made clear why these two
>>>>>> bars are the ones selected. Maybe the thrust should be a case study of two
>>>>>> Williamsburg pick-up bars, with Union Pool representing the greatest heights
>>>>>> of Bedford Avenue style and Beauty Bar representing the neighborhood's final
>>>>>> frontier in pick-up bars. Or something like that. Either way, these bars
>>>>>> seem somewhat randomly selected as is.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> To that end, the Beauty Bar description doesn't spend enough time
>>>>>> connecting its location to its status as a pick-up bar. At most bars, those
>>>>>> who talk to other people pick up girls...it's like that everywhere. And why
>>>>>> is Union Pool so popular? What draws those cute Maoists to the bar?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I've attached an edit from my editor below...it's pretty extensive, so
>>>>>> don't think you need to embrace every change in it. Finally, we'd love to
>>>>>> run this in print in a couple of weeks, and our deadline is tomorrow. If you
>>>>>> could have this done by the end of the day/beginning of tomorrow, that'd be
>>>>>> rad.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Give a call if you have any questions (I'll be in the office at around
>>>>>> 11; if not, my cell is 703 338 0111). Thanks,
>>>>>> Paul
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Title TK: Pick up bars.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Barrett Brown
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "Money can't buy love," we are told, presumably by someone who has
>>>>>> never watched reality television. Even to the extent that this little saying
>>>>>> is true, it remains misleading; if you happen to find yourself alone on an
>>>>>> island, say, far from another island where may be found some hundred or so
>>>>>> attractive people, all the virtues in the world aren't going to get you
>>>>>> married or even fondled. You'll need a speedboat. And money to buy a
>>>>>> speedboat. Love is complicated.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> THIS GRAF ABOVE LOST ME. I GET A GENERAL SENSE OF WHAT ITS SAYING,
>>>>>> BUT ITS TOO TANGLED, TOO MIXED-METAPHOR-Y. IF YOURE ALONE ON AN ISLAND,
>>>>>> HOW TOO IS THERE A SALESMAN THERE? AND WHAT DOES HE BEING GAY OR NOT HAVE TO
>>>>>> DO WITH ANYTHING MORE SPECIFIC THAN LOVE BEING COMPLICATED (ITSELF A
>>>>>> DIFFERENT IDEA THAN THE IDEA OF IT BEING EXPENSIVE). I TRIMMED IT DOWN,
>>>>>> SIMPLIFIED A TOUCH. THAT OK?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> All of which is to say: If you need to make the journey to a bar in
>>>>>> order to catch a mate, an efficient evening of romantic pursuit will cost
>>>>>> you. The economical enthusiast of sex will thus seek out those watering
>>>>>> holes with a favorable ratio of money spent to willing mammals met.
>>>>>> Conveniently enough, two such bars may be found in Brooklyn, the city that
>>>>>> never saves. DOES THIS MEAN THE BOROUGH THAT NEVER SAVES? AND, IS THAT SO?
>>>>>> IN COMPARISON TO MANHATTAN, AT LEAST? MAYBE A BETTER WAY TO MAKE THIS
>>>>>> POINT
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ALSO, THIS GRAF ABOVE NEEDS TO MAKE THE CASE FOR WHY THESE TWO BARS IN
>>>>>> PARTICULAR. A) WHY BOTH IN WILLIAMSURG, AND B) OF ALL THE BARS IN
>>>>>> WILLIAMSBURG, WHY THESE TWO AS CASE STUDIES? NEITHER COMES OFF BELOW AS ALL
>>>>>> THAT UNUSAL IN THESE TERMS, SO WE NEED TO ESTABLISH MUCH MORE FIRMLY.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Spending an evening at the misleadingly monikered Union Pool (484
>>>>>> Union Avenue) may very well be New York's most surefire method of obtaining
>>>>>> sex that doesn't involve Craigslist and crystal meth. Patrons tend to be
>>>>>> single and reasonably attractive. They are also kind enough to come in a
>>>>>> wide variety of models, including hot little female Maoist bass players,
>>>>>> fun-loving European émigrés of every stripe and flavor, gay black fashion
>>>>>> designers who buck the trend by hanging out with attractive straight chicks
>>>>>> instead of ugly ones IS HANGNIGN OUT WITH UGLY STRAIGHT GIRLS REALLY A
>>>>>> TREND?, and, of course, the inevitable legions of white HMM, WHITE IS TOO
>>>>>> GENERAL HERE; BE MORE SPECIFIC fellows who have decided that they would look
>>>>>> good in a beard.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The drinks at Union Pool aren't extraordinarily cheap: Well drinks go
>>>>>> for $5, for instance, although you can get two cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon for
>>>>>> the same amount. The real value of Union Pool lies in the array of strategic
>>>>>> advantages that await those willing to seize them. Outside, for instance, a
>>>>>> large patio area encourages smoking and, consequently, the
>>>>>> asking-your-intended-mate-for-a-lighter-or-cigarette method of introduction.
>>>>>> Several meters of stonemasonry serve as a fire pit in winter and the Western
>>>>>> equivalent of a koi pond throughout summer, with both facilitating eye
>>>>>> contact and conversation.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> THIS GRAF IS PRETTY UNRELATED TO THE IDEA OF BAR-MATING. I SUGGEST WE
>>>>>> CUT. Meanwhile, the bathroom setup is both friend and foe. Long lines tend
>>>>>> to form on weekend evenings; go a couple doors down to Macri Park, an
>>>>>> inferior bar, and use theirs. Those who do make it into one of Union Pool's
>>>>>> half a dozen private bathrooms will find it to be perfect for sipping out of
>>>>>> a flask on the sly; if you lack a flask, two bottles of Paul Mason brandy
>>>>>> ($2.50 each at most liquor stores) will fit nicely into the inside pockets
>>>>>> of a sports coat. Also, wear a sports coat. If you're a girl, make a guy
>>>>>> with a sports coat buy you a drink. He's probably rich.]]]]
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Beauty Bar is a national mini-chain of watering holes that derive
>>>>>> their novelty from offering manicures on certain nights of the week.
>>>>>> Locations tend to pop up in gentrifying neighborhoods, with the one near
>>>>>> Union Square being a notable exception. Far superior is the newer Bushwick
>>>>>> operation (921 Broadway), which bears the great responsibility of providing
>>>>>> a bit of glamour to those members of the creative class who find themselves
>>>>>> living among the projects. It does this well; as a result, attendees tend to
>>>>>> be in a good mood and thus susceptible to your wiles.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> But Beauty Bar provides a different set of challenges and advantages
>>>>>> than does Union Pool. There's a marked emphasis on DJs, who themselves tend
>>>>>> to put a marked emphasis on music just loud enough to make shouting
>>>>>> necessary; this may be problematic for those whose charms lay in
>>>>>> conversation, while those whose charms lay in smiling, dancing, and maybe
>>>>>> nodding their heads a bit will be all set. Still, the talkers have their
>>>>>> chance, particularly if the talkers happen to be smokers as well; the scene
>>>>>> out front is so consistently promising that just hanging out near the
>>>>>> doorway makes for a fine evening out in and of itself. And if you don't
>>>>>> smoke yet, consider starting up; cigarettes are delicious.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> THIS NEES ANOTHER GRAF FOR BEAUTY BAR. ALL IT REALLY SAYS IS THAT
>>>>>> THOSE WHO CAN TALK MIGHT GET LUCKY. THATS NOT ENOUGH. IS THERE SOMETHING
>>>>>> ABOUT THE DISPOSITION OF PEOPLE WHO GO TO A BEAUTY BAR? SOME SUBCONSCIOUS
>>>>>> HOPE OF TRANSFORMATION, GLAMOR?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> --
>>>>>> Assistant City Editor
>>>>>> The Onion AV Club NY
>>>>>> 900 Broadway
>>>>>> New York, NY 10003
>>>>>> (212)-777-3700 x232
>>>>>> pcaine@theonion.com
>>>>>> aim: paulcaine2
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Assistant City Editor
>>>> The Onion AV Club NY
>>>> 900 Broadway
>>>> New York, NY 10003
>>>> (212)-777-3700 x232
>>>> pcaine@theonion.com
>>>> aim: paulcaine2
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
>
> --
> Assistant City Editor
> The Onion AV Club NY
> 900 Broadway
> New York, NY 10003
> (212)-777-3700 x232
> pcaine@theonion.com
> aim: paulcaine2
>
>

--
Assistant City Editor
The Onion AV Club NY
900 Broadway
New York, NY 10003
(212)-777-3700 x232
pcaine@theonion.com
aim: paulcaine2

--
Paul Caine
NY Assistant City Editor The A.V. Club
900 Broadway, Suite 203
New York, NY 10003
p 212-777-3700 x232 | f 212-777-3716
newyork.avclub.com
twitter.com/AVClubNY