Subject: Experienced Humor Writer |
From: Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> |
Date: 5/21/09, 20:19 |
To: job-4rvnf-1180875740@craigslist.org |
BARRETT BROWN
WRITER/ EDITOR/ WEB CONTENT PRODUCER
Brooklyn, NY
512-560-2302
Communications Industry Skills
Writing for all media. Web content development, strategic blogging, consumer and corporate feature writing. Creating copy for print, broadcast and interactive collateral, concept development for advertising and marketing campaigns.
Editing for consistency, accuracy and content AP, Chicago, and new media styles. Editorial oversight for brand positioning and enhancement.
Deadline-driven, creative and collaborative.
Published Work/ Media Experience
Vanity
Fair Contributor
to publication's Power and Politics blog. March 2009 - present
Fortean Times Book reviewer for monthly, London-based magazine. January 2009 present.
Thomas Riggs and Company Contributed 20,000 words of material for academic publishing company's upcoming reference book on U.S. cities. January 2009.
Studio 2a Part-time marketing consultant for Chicago-based architectural rendering firm, handling all sales letters, marketing copy, and long-term branding strategies. 2007 2009.
PoliticalBase.com Created content and served as paid blogger for online political news start-up founded by CNET. 2007 - 2008.
Fox Business Channel, Yahoo, Minyanville.com Writer on freelance creative team for animated humor series Minyanville, which aired on Fox Business Channel's Happy Hour program as well as on Yahoo Finance. 2007.
The Onion A.V. Club Freelance copywriting for The Onion's features department. 2006 - 2008.
Sterling and Ross Publishers Authored nonfiction book of political humor, Flock of Dodos: Behind Modern Creationism, Intelligent Design, and the Easter Bunny, released in March 2007. Book received praise from Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz, Rolling Stone, Skeptic, Air America Radio, Huffington Post, others.
Anglesey Interactive, Inc. Produced online marketing collateral web text, press releases, blogging in support of firm's integrated search engine. 2007 2008.
Dining Out - Feature writing for national restaurant publication. 2006 2008.
National Lampoon Contributor, 2004 2005, 2008 - 2009
Sullivan Perkins Served as junior copywriter at Dallas-based advertising firm. 2003.
Evote.com - Weekly columnist and feature writer for political analysis site. 2004 2005.
AOL CityGuide - Web content writer. Researched and created coverage of event and entertainment venues. Served as regional correspondent for Dallas, Austin, New Orleans, Houston and Little Rock markets. 2000 2004.
Additional magazine work - Ongoing, have contributed feature articles from serious political commentary and book reviews to humor pieces and dining overviews for outlets including Vanity Fair, academic publications Skeptic and Fortean Times, business-to-business publications Pizza Today, 360, Club Systems International, Destination Dallas, D.C.-based public policy journal Toward Freedom, London-based public policy journal Free Life, humor magazine Jest, regional publications The Met, Austin Monthly, Dallas Child, literary journal Swans, dozens more.
Other writing projects - Crated both print and online marketing collateral for New York tech start-up Organic Motion, Inc. Wrote online marketing collateral for New York corporate training firm Illuminata Global. Researched and wrote entertainment/dining/venue content for Dallas ad agency Avacata and clients' marketing collateral, including that of luxury resort real estate firm. Have produced website copy for design firm NPCreate.com, provided public relations pieces for Texas energy companies EBS and S.K. Oil and Gas and Dallas real estate firm Dunhill Partners.
Education
B.A. in Journalism, University of Texas at Austin, College of Communications
A Guide to Gainful Employment
by Barrett Brown
These days, what with the recession and whatnot, blah blah blah. Go get a job.
Finding a Job
Check the want ads in your local newspaper for jobs editing the want ads section in your local newspaper.
Don't apply for that job listing you keep seeing on Craigslist about making $40,000-$60,000 a week from home. Wealth can change people.
The Application Process
Fib a bit on your resume. If you are asked to come in for an interview, confess to your dishonest behavior and break down in tears in front of the prospective employer. This will help to break the ice. Another good option is to ask the interviewer if he or she is a fan of a local sports franchise.
Although many job applicants are reluctant to bring up matters of salary during an interview, the subject is best dealt with immediately. Make sure that your potential employer understands that you require payment in gold or some other hard currency in order that you might better escape the attentions of certain "factions within the so-called American government." Repeat this six or seven times during the interview for emphasis.
Appearance is important. Dress up in bright apparel decorated with images of beloved cartoon characters like Tweety Bird and the Tasmanian Devil. Or, if there was ever a cartoon with "baby" versions of the characters of in question, such as perhaps a Baby Tasmanian Devil or some such, try to wear something with that on it.
During the interview, pretend that your cell phone is ringing, ask for the employer to excuse you for a moment, and pretend to engage in a very important conversation with someone on the other end. Here are some things you can say:
"Tell the Duchess that I'll have no dealings with such adventurers as Terentio de Monte Albano Royalton."
"I shan't be home for dinner this evening."
"I shan't attend the Limousine Festival because I'll be busy eating dinner at home this evening."
"Prepare the cutlery and the wine for the dinner that we shan't not be having this evening."
"Ensure that a chilled bottle of Zima awaits me in the cloakroom at home this evening."
"For king and country!"
There are also other things that you could probably say.
Settling In
When you arrive at work, explain to your co-workers that this is not your real job, and that you are actually an artist. They will admire you for your honesty.
Try to get your boss to give you a pager so you can wear it to Chili's when you go have lunch with all of your little co-workers. Nice pager, bro.