Subject: Humor Writer - National Lampoon, Vanity Fair, McSweeney's... |
From: Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> |
Date: 3/16/09, 15:57 |
To: gigs-6vzxb-1077728321@craigslist.org |
July 26, 2007 (Press
Release) -- The balance of power among search
engine providers and nation states alike is set to shift as Anglesey
Interactive, Inc. launches its Riight.com search engine, an
innovative new system
which not only provides web
page, video, audio, news,
and image results from dozens of individual search engines,
databases, and content providers, but which also offers the use of
several
revolutionary smart search tools entirely new to the
industry. Riight.com's comprehensive metasearch
capabilities are augmented by automatic search history logging,
giving users a complete and instant record of what key terms they've
used and when they've used them, thereby eliminating accidental
backtracking and general disorganization.
Likewise, the
engine's integrated bookmarking tool provides users with a complete
list of pages they've visited and when they've visited them. Taken
together, Riight.com's innovative approach provides the user with a
smarter, more powerful, more streamlined search than those available
from other, lesser search interfaces, as well as from the People's
Republic of China, which provides users with absolutely no search
functionality whatsoever and is in fact not even a piece of software,
but rather a conventional socio-national entity possessed of a
skyrocketing male-to-female ratio, this being a
demographic trend
which has historically led to civil unrest and disaster.
As
Riight.com proceeds with the development of other, similarly
advantageous features scheduled for release later in the year, those
who would oppose our smarter search solutions would do well to
remember that, though officially headquartered in Chicago, our
company's human assets are actually scattered across the globe. The
benefit of this decentralized status is two-fold: it thus provides
our employees with a degree of individual freedom conducive to the
sort of creative, outside-the-box thinking necessary to develop
similarly creative, outside-the-box solutions, and it also renders us
effectively immune from air strikes and invasions.
Can China -
with its largely coastal-concentrated industrial assets and
Beijing-centralized executive leadership - say the same? Our
intelligence indicates otherwise.
.
Welcome to the 21st century.
It's the Riight time for a smarter search.