Subject: Experienced Copywriter with Humor Background
From: Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>
Date: 3/14/09, 14:22
To: jobs@interspire.com

Howdy-

I understand that your company is in need of copywriter to handle your marketing collateral, and I'd like to be considered on a contract basis. I've done similar work for several small businesses, including a few tech firms, and my other work has appeared in Vanity Fair, National Lampoon, Skeptic, The Onion A.V. Club, and dozens of other publications, and my first book, Flock of Dodos: Behind Modern Creationism, Intelligent Design, and the Easter Bunny, was released in 2007.

Along with the attached resume, I've pasted a few pertinent samples below; the first is a sales letter I did for 3d rendering firm Studio2a, and the second is a corporate resume for energy firm S.K. Oil. Please take a look and let me know if you're interested.

Thanks,

Barrett Brown
Brooklyn, NY
512-560-2302


It's Labor Day. We're Laboring.

We've never quite understood why it is that anyone would want to celebrate the end of summer, but that's exactly what a good portion of the American public will be up to this Labor Day. We refuse to commemorate the passing of barbecue season with anything other than tears. Besides, we've got a couple of tricks up our collective sleeve.

Virtual Summer Lovin'

While everyone else is running around smelling like bug spray, we'll be at the office, consoling ourselves with ribs and the wonders of 3d rendering. And while others are out on the lake, we'll be creating advanced 3d models of photorealistic lakeside scenes - the sort that aren't subject to mosquitos, isolated thunderstorms, or unwanted in-laws. By the time we're done applying refraction textures and instituting cloud algorithms, you won't be able to tell the difference between your vacation photos and the renderings we built out of nothing last week. Frankly, we'll have a hard time figuring it out ourselves.

The trick is to look for the ones that are perfect. Those are ours.

Our Clients Love 3d. So Will Yours.

But enough about us. What can Studio2a's advanced approach to 3d do for your company? For starters, it can help you to communicate your concepts to clients through pictures of the sort that are worth well over a thousand words. Ultimately, this can help to eliminate change orders, lost time, wasted resources, and other, similarly unsavory things that tend to result from communicational friction. More importantly, our finished product will help to accentuate the merits of your own, making it that much more likely that your next client presentation ends with a green light.

Problems? Solved.

If they ever get around to proclaiming a "Photorealistic 3d Rendering Day," perhaps we'll take the afternoon off. But probably not.

Give us a call today. We'll be here.


***

Investment Strategy


S.K. Oil and Gas is in the business of capitalizing on the current

global energy situation while also avoiding many of the sort of risks

that were once universal within the energy financing industry, and

which still plague many other firms even in the midst of unprecedented

oil prices. By structuring developmental drilling programs which are

themselves based around high-risk exploratory efforts that have

already been undertaken by third parties, we are thus capable of

operating with little or no real risk to our own investors, who are

not asked to invest in anything unproven but are rather called upon to

finance the drilling of wells in areas that have already been shown to

be profitable. Coupled with recent advances in drilling technology,

our particularly deliberate approach to energy financial services

tends to result in absolute success with few surprises.


Source of Prospects


Effective deal flow within the industry at large is necessarily

dependent on the establishment of a working relationship between

geologists, engineers, and operators. Like all firms of the sort, S.K.

Oil and Gas is dependent upon this dynamic for our ongoing projects;

but unlike many other firms, most of our prospects derive from

operators who have already proven the viability of the sites at their

disposal and who wish to put the development of such sites under our

management and financial structuring. Generally, these operators tend

to stay on with the project as coordinators so that they might

continue to benefit from risks taken previously.


We also routinely take on prospects from those lending institutions

which are understandably anxious to shift their capital into oil and

gas in light of the ongoing crisis in other sectors but which would

prefer to provide loans for projects only on the condition that

additional equity can be provided, a condition that we are able to

meet by way of our strong working relationship with investors who are

similarly interested in shifting their capital into energy. Such a

form of Mezzazine Financing allows us to establish favorable equity

positions while also benefiting from the availability of lender

recourse.


Selecting Projects


Before taking on a given project, S.K. Oil and Gas engages in a

multi-level investigation of its relative merits in the context of

other potential projects. This inquiry begins with a review of both

known facts and probable outcomes on the part of our geologists, all

of whom have a strong familiarity with the regions in which we

operate. If the project in question receives a green light from our

geologists, we proceed to weigh its potential value relative to the

entirety of the Texas oil and gas industry, taking into account every

operation ongoing in the state at any given time. Such a seemingly

complex undertaking is made easier by way of the state's policy of

monitoring any and oil production that falls under its purview, making

public the records of such production, and applying taxes accordingly.

By utilizing this information, we are in a better position to

determine whether or not a particular field has the high level of

potential that we seek from each of the projects we undertake.


After having made the determination that a given project meets our

criteria, we next follow through with the perfecting of lease

interests, title reviews, pipeline and crude sales contracts, and

engineering and drilling arrangements. Funds are released as necessary

against invoices in support of an audit trail.


Sources and Minimization of Risk


Though our deliberative approach to the structuring of oil and gas

projects goes a long way towards minimizing risk and maximizing

return, even such a uniquely cautious operation as ours faces some

degree of risk based on the decisions made by our management team.

Because even a largely surefire project can come up short if not

properly executed, we have assembled what we believe to be among the

most talented and tested assembly of oil production and financing

professionals in the region. Between our patience in the pursuit of

new projects and the capabilities of those who manage them, we have

established an enterprise in which unavoidable risks are unlikely to

result in outright failure, but simply higher costs and thus lower

returns. It should be remembered, though, that we are not in the

business of exploration, the stage in which most risks manifest

themselves; rather, our emphasis is on developmental drilling, a

sector in which 100 percent success is no longer uncommon.