From: Barrett Brown [mailto:barriticus@gmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 23, 2008 12:18 PM
To: corbincollins@comcast.net
Subject: Experienced Copywriter, Activist, Humorist

 

I understand that Spin & Reason is seeking to expand its pool of freelancers, and I'd like to be considered for future gigs. I'm a full-time freelancer and political activist based in New York, and my work has appeared in dozens of publications ranging from small public policy journals and industry trade pubs to better-known humor outlets like National Lampoon, The Onion, and McSweeney's. I've served as a copywriter for AOL and other, smaller firms, and have a tad bit of agency experience to boot. As of last month, I also serve as director of communications for Enlighten the Vote, a PAC that advocates for the Establishment Clause of the Constitution, and my first book, Flock of Dodos: Behind Modern Creationism, Intelligent Design, and the Easter Bunny, was released last year to praise from Alan Dershowitz, Rolling Stone, Skeptic, and other sources.

 

I'd be interested in taking on any sort of assignment you might have, but would be particularly interested in projects related to political advocacy.

 

Along with my resume, I've pasted a few samples below; the first is an op-ed, the second is an article on the subject of green efficiency in the event industry, and the third is a sales letter I composed recently for a client of mine. Please take a look and let me know if you'd like to discuss this further.

 

Thanks,

 

Barrett Brown

Brooklyn, NY

512-560-2302

 

 

BarrettBrown________________barriticus@gmail.com

 

Copywriter/ Feature Columnist/ Contributing Editor/ Book Author

With focus on political satire, policy analysis and contemporary humor.

Published Work/ Freelance Media Experience:

Enlighten the Vote – Currently serve as director of communications for New Jersey-based political action committee founded in 2005 and concerned with advocacy of the Establishment Clause of the U.S. Constitution. 2008 – present

S.K. Oil and Gas – Currently serve as copywriter for Dallas-based energy finance firm. 2008 – present.

Texodus Media – Currently serve as copywriter and marketing consultant for Brooklyn-based production firm specializing in marketing and game development. 2008 – present.

Studio 2a – Currently serve as marketing consultant for Chicago-based architectural rendering firm, handling all sales letters, marketing copy, and long-term branding strategies. 2007 – present.

PoliticalBase.com – Created content and served as paid blogger for online political news start-up founded by CNET. 2007-2008.

Fox Business Channel, Yahoo, Minyanville.com – Writer on freelance creative team for animated humor series Minyanville, which aired on Fox Business Channel's Happy Hourprogram as well as on Yahoo Finance. 2007

The Onion A/V Club - Freelance copywriting for The Onion's features department. 2006-2008.

Sterling and Ross Publishers – Authored nonfiction book of political humor, Flock of Dodos: Behind Modern Creationism, Intelligent Design, and the Easter Bunny, released in March 2007. Book received praise from Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz, Rolling Stone, Skeptic, Air America Radio, Huffington Post, others.

Anglesey Interactive, Inc. – Produced online marketing collateral (web text, press releases, blogging, etc.) in support of firm's "" integrated search engine from June 2007 to March 2008Riight.com

Dining Out - Feature writing for national restaurant publication. 2006-2008

National Lampoon - Occasional contributor; past features included "Pick-Up Lines That Don't Seem to Work," "Craig's Conspiracy Corner," "A Guide to Dealing with Housecats," more. 2003 – 2006

Sullivan Perkins – Served as junior copywriter at Dallas-based advertising firm. 2003.

Evote.com - Weekly columnist and feature writer for political analysis site from October 2004 to November 2005.

AOL CityGuide - Web content writer from 2000 to 2004 – Researched/ created coverage of event and entertainment venues. Served as regional correspondent for Dallas, Austin, New Orleans, Houston and Little Rock markets.

Additional magazine work - Ongoing, have contributed feature articles from serious political commentary to humor pieces to fine dining overviews for outlets including business-to-business publications Pizza Today, 360, Club Systems International, Destination Dallas, D.C.-based public policy journal Toward Freedom, London-based public policy journal Free Life, humor magazine Jest, regional publications The Met, Austin Monthly, Dallas Child, Oui, literary journal Swans, dozens more.

Additional writing projects - Created both print and online marketing collateral for New York tech start-up Organic Motion, Inc. Created online marketing collateral for New York corporate training firm Illuminata Global. Researched and wrote entertainment/dining/venue content for Dallas ad agency Avacata and clients' marketing collateral, including that of luxury resort real estate firm. Have produced website copy for design firm NPCreate.com, provided public relations pieces for Texas energy company EBS and Dallas real estate firm Dunhill Partners.

Education:

1999 - 2003 University of Texas at Austin, College of Communications

 

Intelligent Design Conference Only Tells Half the Story

On April 13^th, a seemingly mild-mannered cadre of culture warriors associated with the Discovery Institute Center for Science and Culture (CSC) will descend on Dallas for a two-day conference to be held at Southern Methodist University. The event, entitled Design Vs. Darwin, will be open to the public, but because the subject matter in question happens to be Intelligent Design – a particularly juicy topic these days - tickets may be difficult to come by. Still, one need not fret, as there is surprisingly little to this Intelligent Design business, and of what little there is to say about it, much will be glossed over by the speakers, while much of the rest will be completely inaccurate.

 

For instance, attendees will probably be told that the institution from which the speakers hail is a "secular think tank," as is claimed on the CSC website. What they will not be told is that a 1998 CSC fundraising letter states explicitly that the group's overriding goal is to "reverse the stifling dominance of the materialist worldview, and to replace it with a science consonant with Christian and theistic convictions," and likewise expresses the CSC's intention to "build up a popular base of support among our natural constituency, namely, Christians," and that this will be done "primarily through apologetics seminars," which is certainly an innovative approach for a "secular think tank" to take.

 

Much will be said regarding Intelligent Design itself, which holds that some biological features are too complex to have arisen via evolution and thus must be the work of some unnamed "designer." As he has long been in the habit of doing, CSC speaker and biochemist Michael Behe will no doubt claim that the process of blood clotting in humans would perform no function whatsoever if it were to lack even one of its many components, and thus could not have evolved from simpler forms. Behe will claim this despite the fact that the same blood clotting system that exists in humans is also found in whales and dolphins – where it lacks one of those many components that Behe has deemed to be necessary, and functions just fine without it, thus showing Behe's claims to be clearly false, although not so false that Behe has stopped making them.

 

CSC senior fellow Stephen Meyer will also be on hand. Meyer may perhaps point out that he once compiled a bibliography consisting of several dozen mainstream scientific papers which he characterized as running contrary to the prevailing scientific view of evolution and which he sent off to the Ohio Board of Education in hopes that the state's science courses be altered accordingly. He will probably refrain from pointing out that the National Center for Science Education promptly contacted the authors of each of the papers to ask them if Meyer had accurately characterized their work, and that each of the 26 scientists who responded said that he had not. Nonetheless, Meyer may very well claim that these papers "raise significant challenges to key tenets of Darwinian evolution," as he once wrote in a column for the Cincinnati Enquirer – even after he'd been informed by the scientists who wrote them that they don't do anything of the sort.

 

One thing is certain, though; there will definitely be talk of all the exciting scientific research that the CSC crowd has been up to. Perhaps it will be mentioned that the Intelligent Design folks now have their own quarterly, peer-reviewed scientific journal in which to publish their findings. If so, it will probably not be mentioned that a new issue has not appeared since 2005, this constituting an unusual publishing schedule for a quarterly journal – although not so unusual for one catering to those who prefer to accomplish their goals "primarily through apologetics seminars" of the sort that they'll soon be holding in Dallas, rather than through actual science of the sort that's done in the lab.

 

Waste Not, Whatnot

 

by Barrett Brown

 

The Environmental Protection Agency has deemed the event and trade show industry to be the second largest producer of solid waste in the United States, second only to demolition and construction in this dubious honor. Don't apologize to your kids just yet; solid waste, while none too pretty, is only a small stroke of the brush in the greater ecological picture, with experts having developed new and better criteria as of late to determine who's been mucking up the planet and how much mucking up they've been doing. Besides, your kids may very well have their own apologizing to do. When was the last time you checked the locks on the liquor cabinet?

 

The implementation of eco-friendly operating procedures is surprisingly easy, increasingly marketable, and almost universally profitable. This, at least, was the central message of last month's

Green Event Summit in San Fransisco, where hundreds of event professionals met to showcase new, greener business practices of potential interest dealer owners, project managers, and the like.

 

Now, skepticism in the face of increasingly ubiquitous buzzwords like "eco-friendly" is understandable, particularly in the absence of any clear definitions. But the environmental movement has come a long way since the first Earth Day, having since branched out from a propensity for vagueness and granola into something that one can actually take to the bank without getting laughed at by the teller.

 

It's easy to forget that you can't spell "economic" without "eco" unless you're cheating on a crossword puzzle; those who have pursued greener practices for any particular reason almost always find that they've also managed to save money in the process. And the more mundane the changes, the more surprising the savings often turn out to be. The U.S. Army, for instance, recently audited its paint purchases and discovered that the eco-friendly sorts ended up costing them an average of $1.76 less per can than did the regular types – even when both kinds came from the same supplier.

 

The trick, though, is to go about these things the right way. The Army saved itself a bundle by consulting with Green Seal (greenseal.org), one of several independent certification groups that reckon degrees of ecological efficiency by reference to "Life Cycle Assessment." As Green Seal environmental scientist Nana Wilberforce explains, an LCA measures the environmental impact of a given product or service by tracing its eco-footprint from cradle to grave, covering everything from the early extraction of raw materials to the later disposal of dangerous materials. "In all," says Wilberforce, "the concept of sustainability must be taken into consideration."

 

Since most firms don't have an environmental scientist on staff, such a nuanced consideration as that may seem somewhat daunting. Luckily, Green Seal offers a free online database of products and services that have met strict LCA standards. Another non-profit, the Greenguard Environmental Institute (greenguard.org), hosts a similar database with an emphasis on emissions and indoor air quality. Between these two websites alone, one can quickly locate green-certified suppliers of surfacing materials, furnitures paint, textiles, adhesives, fleet vehicle maintenance, cleaning services, print materials, and other items of relevance to the trade show world.

 

But saving money while going green can be even easier than simply changing suppliers, and the event industry is in a particularly advantageous position to do so. "Saving money on eliminating bottled water is the easiest, low-hanging fruit," says Amy Spatrisano, one of the Green Event Summit's keynote speakers and a principal of Meeting Strategies Worldwide. "We've had clients save $25,000 to $50,000 by not serving bottled water and providing large drinking water containers instead. Caterers can also save 15 to 50 percent on serving items in bulk versus individual packets." At the same time, it's easy to get sloppy in the process. "In their enthusiasm to adopt something green, [companies] don't always think it through," Spatrisano notes. "If you're going to eliminate bottled water and provide a refillable container, make sure the container is made environmentally responsibility." LCA standards to the rescue!

 

Several of the methods by which display dealers in particular stand to save both money and planets are slightly more complicated, though still well within the realm of the doable. Josh Rose, who serves as the Event Designers and Producers Association's vice president of connectivity and also sits on its board of directors and runs his own consultancy firm to boot, points out that the industry practice of pricing shipments by weight provides an opportunity to kill two birds with one etcetera. "Greener products are being designed into exhibits to reduce weight and add flexibility for future adaptation: more aluminum instead of wood and steel, more fabric instead of wood and laminated or plastic finishes. This reduction in weight has lower material handling costs and fuel costs." Then, there's the recycling route. "The red carpet at Fox events in Hollywood for the last year or two has been standardized, cleaned, and reused instead of going to the landfill," Rose points out. "When you are talking about thousands of square feet, that translates to real dollars. Also, builders are creatively restocking used exhibit components and then 'reskinning' them for the next client or show. Instead of pitching old graphics after a specific event, the graphic has become more generic and reused for multiple events with a changeable tag line. One of our clients has saved over $20,000 a year by using this process on an eight-show circuit."

 

Once you've gotten on the waste wagon, there still exists the matter of communicating your new-found social responsibility to customers. In a market that's becoming increasingly glutted with such terminology, simply describing your firm as "environmentally-friendly" is akin to offering cheap candy in Candy Land. "Greenwashing is becoming a much bigger issue," says Spatrisano, using a term that denotes the making of misleading claims regarding a firm's ecological commitment. Environmental watchdogs have always been on the lookout for fraud in this regard; now, customers are increasingly savvy to such things as well, so it's important to be specific about your greenery. Point out that you're doing business with "LCA-certified suppliers of green products and services," for instance, and you'll get increased business with those who know their stuff, as well as those who are easily impressed by mysterious acronyms.

 

Also, don't forget to render your TLK's with an upper-trending FRW before the next FOM.

 

Just kidding. But seriously, though, LCA is a real thing, and you should get on it ASAP.

 

 

It's Not Easy Being Green... Or Is It?

Paul Firth, vice president of technology for the environmental watchdog group Green Standard, has some ideas on how to get the ball rolling:

 

·   Your firm should pursue "waste management and recycling that addresses office and production wastes." An inexpensive session with an environmental consultant will help.

 

·   Before moving on to the more advanced stuff, seek to reduce energy use "through reductions or efficiency gains." Some firms are rolling out corporate buses; others make do with energy-efficient light bulbs and computer monitors, while still others just turn the damned things off at the end of the day. Also, cell phone chargers and the like should be pulled from the socket when not in use; they still run when there's nothing hooked up to them, people.

 

·   Compose "a plan to move towards more renewable or alternative energy sources." Again, a consultant will come in handy.

 

·   Lock your principals in a room together until they settle on a "purchasing policy to address purchasing habits and criteria to aid in using more sustainable materials." Switching to products and services with favorable LCAs is surefire.

 

If You Cheat on Mother Earth, She'll Leave Threatening Messages on Your Voice Mail

 

We won't judge you for cutting environmental corners, but your customers might; making dubious claims of greenness can have nasty repercussions. Toyota suffered some PR fallout when the firm was reprimanded by the Advertising Standards Association for far-out claims it had been making last year regarding the allegedly low environmental impact of its vehicles. Around the same time, the ASA publicly scolded a Scottish energy company for claiming that they'd plant enough trees to offset the carbon dioxide produced by their customers; it turned out that, while the company did indeed arrange for trees to be planted, the program managers had no idea how much CO2 a tree could actually absorb. Oops.

 

Waste Not: What, Not?

 

In the rush to green one's scene, avoid being taken in by bad ideas, some of which actually damage the environment, as well as your reputation among the environmentally adept.

 

·   Don't recycle company computers or other electronics; the process remains dirty and expensive. Selling them used will drum up cash and encourage others to avoid making unnecessary purchases of new goods.

·   Having a little tag line on your e-mails encouraging people not to print them out unless necessary is increasingly common. It's also irritating and probably ineffective.

·   The green movement, like all movements, runs the risk of being bound up with aesthetics at the expense of common sense. Ordering a $7,000 coffee table made with Southeast Asian hardwoods from a boutique with a cutesy name may help to tie your building's lobby together, but it also entails a massive carbon footprint when one takes shipping into account. If you don't need to order something from the other side of the planet, don't.

·   If you're thinking about greening up your coffee service (hey, why not?), don't swap your regular milk for the "organic" sort in hopes of reducing environmental impact – it'll actually have the opposite effect for reasons too wonky to discuss here. Go for soy milk, which is not only more environmentally sound but also better for you and, frankly, tastier.

·   Biofuels were once hailed as a major solution, but are now roundly rejected for their massive pollution. Rhyming is fine, though.

·   There was recently a study going around to the effect that regular light bulbs are actually better for the planet than the more efficient sorts, but the study in question failed to take into account several of the sorts of things that studies are generally supposed to take into account. Stick with the new, more efficient bulbs.

 

It's Labor Day. We're Laboring.

 

We've never quite understood why it is that anyone would want to celebrate the end of summer, but that's exactly what a good portion of the American public will be up to this Labor Day. We refuse to commemorate the passing of barbecue season with anything other than tears. Besides, we've got a couple of tricks up our collective sleeve.

 

Virtual Summer Lovin'

While everyone else is running around smelling like bug spray, we'll be at the office, consoling ourselves with ribs and the wonders of 3d rendering. And while others are out on the lake, we'll be creating advanced 3d models of photorealistic lakeside scenes - the sort that aren't subject to mosquitos, isolated thunderstorms, or unwanted in-laws. By the time we're done applying refraction textures and instituting cloud algorithms, you won't be able to tell the difference between your vacation photos and the renderings we built out of nothing last week. Frankly, we'll have a hard time figuring it out ourselves.

 

The trick is to look for the ones that are perfect. Those are ours.

 

Our Clients Love 3d. So Will Yours.

But enough about us. What can Studio2a's advanced approach to 3d do for your company? For starters, it can help you to communicate your concepts to clients through pictures of the sort that are worth well over a thousand words. Ultimately, this can help to eliminate change orders, lost time, wasted resources, and other, similarly unsavory things that tend to result from communicational friction. More importantly, our finished product will help to accentuate the merits of your own, making it that much more likely that your next client presentation ends with a green light.

 

Problems? Solved.

If they ever get around to proclaiming a "Photorealistic 3d Rendering Day," perhaps we'll take the afternoon off. But probably not.

Give us a call today. We'll be here.