To: nix_and_westy@ganked.com, z00k33p3r@hotmail.com
Howdy, Laura-
This is Barrett Brown. Because of some recent literary and political successes, I am now in a position to acquire what Vincent Garafalo owes me. I can also get what he owes you, if you'd like.
Tomorrow, I will be contacting Garafalo in a manner that will surprise him very much, and will explain to him my position regarding the more than $5,000 that he owes me and invite him to submit a payment plan by which he will eventually settle up not ony with myself, but with Bob Constantini and that other freelancer who writes for Reason. Garafalo will either accept my offer immediately, or will have his financial and personal life ruined forever by way of a method I have recently developed in order to deal with unethical people. He will pay me eventually, regardless.