Re: Experienced Humor Writer

On 8/20/08, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Sounds good. Of course, the final script would be much better.

Thanks,

Barrett

On Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 9:59 PM, Sati Achath <satiachath@gmail.com> wrote:

Thank you Barrett for your sample script. That's brilliant, and I really liked it.

Let me send it to my talent agent and see what he has to say. I shall get back to you tomorrow.

Best regards,

Sati

On 8/20/08, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Sati-

Actually, never mind about the voices. Here is my sample:

Aristotle said that man is a political animal. But about the animals themselves? They are, of course, even more political, which is to say, even more insufferable.

And here we have a local neighborhood association meeting somewhere in the Animal Kingdom, which is, incidentally, a constitutional monarchy. The provinces have quite a bit of discretion.

Here we have the Hen, who presides over the meeting by virtue of her sheer loudness. The Hen announces that the neighborhood has a budget surplus this year. So, how shall they spend it?

The rabbit stands up to speak. He believes the surplus ought to be spent on little pieces of corn and melon and perhaps a sign forbidding children from picking up rabbits and carrying them around in an uncomfortable fashion.

The tiger stands up next. He proposes that the surplus be spent on rabbit traps.

The cobra stands up well, rather slithers up. He says that the surplus ought to be spent on public transportation for cobras. He also seconds the motion regarding rabbit traps.

The rabbit stands up. Then he runs off.

The giraffe stands up over everyone else. He gets plenty of respect for this, incidentally. The other animals are impressed by tallness. This is what the pollsters have been telling him, anyway. Otherwise, he would be short. At any rate, the giraffe proposes that the meeting be adjourned and that cobra and tiger both be investigated for taking illegal campaign contributions immediately.

The duck seconds the motion.

The hen rules it into law.

The cobra and the tiger run off to some foreign country with which the Animal Kingdom has a non-extradition treaty.

See, democracy works!

On Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 8:35 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Sati, will have this sample to you in a bit, but need to know if you can do voices - not imitations, but can you do different voices for different animals?

On Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 8:11 PM, Sati Achath <satiachath@gmail.com> wrote:

Thank you Barrett.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Sati

On 8/20/08, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Okay, I will go ahead and think up five or six more lines for your consideration this evening (these would not actually be in the final script, as I still need to think up a good plot). Don't worry about the constraints of shadow puppets; most of this will be dialogue and simple movement, but of course I will leave the latter in your hands, pun sort of intended.

Thanks,

Barrett

On Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 8:05 PM, Sati Achath <satiachath@gmail.com> wrote:

Thank you Barrett for your clarification. I totally agree with your line of thinking, and I am excited about this humorous concept. So kindly go ahead and please come up with some more lines.

So far I have received about 30 responses, and already 6-7 persons have sent me their samples. But honestly, I am most impressed with your story line. In fact, this is the type of story that I had in mind and was looking for. But the only thing is that after you have done the story, I should be in a position to translate them into action with my hands!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Sati

On 8/20/08, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Regarding the election, I agree with you, and didn't mean to convey that it would be based on this particular election; it would be, as you say, akin to Animal Farm insomuch as that it would be a humorous metaphor about politics and social interaction in general (but unlike Animal Farm insomuch as that no animal will represent any particular person, and particularly not Trotsky and Stalin!). So it would be something you would be able to use beyond November. If you still want to go with that idea, I would like to do it, and will provide you with some more samples based on that theme a bit later this evening. Let me know what you think.

Thanks,

Barrett

On Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 7:46 PM, Sati Achath <satiachath@gmail.com> wrote:

Thank you Barrett for your sample lines. Your idea of holding an election is great, and I think you are on the right track. But at the same time, as I am preparing the act for a longer time (beyond November), it will be better to avoid the presidential election which is in Nov. But we can put it as a local election or an election in the animal kingdom, something similar to George Orwell's Animal Farm. If you can kindly come up with another 3-4 lines for other animals, that will be great.

Thank you once again for your input and ideas.

Best regards,

Sati

On 8/20/08, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi, Sati-

For the general storyline, I would have the animals holding an election. This would be very well-received for the next few months, what with our own upcoming election. Also, Americans love political humor in general. Now, for some sample rewrites:

"In Hinduism, the cow is a symbol of wealth, strength, abundance, selfless giving and a full Earthly life. Think of the cow as the Barack Obama of the animal kingdom."

"Miss Kitty Cat has just arrived back from England. How are you, Miss Kitty Cat? Oh, she is limping. She was caught up in a football riot. I told you, Miss Kitty Cat, it is best to stick to Big Ben."

Let me know what you think.

Thanks,

Barrett Brown

On Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 6:10 PM, Sati Achath <satiachath@gmail.com> wrote:

Thank you Barrett for your positive response. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Sati

On 8/20/08, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Sure, Sati. I'll take a look at this and get back to you later this evening.

Thanks,

Barrett

On Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 6:07 PM, Sati Achath <satiachath@gmail.com> wrote:

Hello. Thank you Barrett for your prompt response. I am attaching my current script. I am looking for a thorough overhauling of the script with a humorous spin on it, or a totally new story line/approach.

My target audience are adults, and I will be performing for corporate clients. The major part of my act will be showing images of celebrities and other personalities.

If you can kindly let me know your story line about the animals, and write one or two sentences on any 5 or 6 images out of 22, that will be great. That will help me to take a decision.

Considering that the script is a brief one lasting 5-6 minutes, my budget is only $100.

Kindly let me know in case you will be interested.

Best regards,

Sati

On 8/20/08, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Howdy-

I'd like to be considered for your project. I write for National Lampoon and other outlets, and have otherwise worked in humor on and off for most of my life. I've done a little script writing, too. If you'd like to talk, let me know.

Thanks,

Barrett Brown
512-560-2302