Subject: Fwd: PSA - Urgent Bulletin |
From: "Callie Enlow" <radicallie@gmail.com> |
Date: 11/13/07, 18:28 |
To: "Dave Burdick" <daveburdick@gmail.com>,
"Claire Hudson" <claire.hudson@gmail.com>,
"Barrett Brown" <barriticus@gmail.com> |
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
<
jesusmisappropriates@gmail.com>
Date: Nov 13, 2007 4:42 PM
Subject: PSA - Urgent Bulletin
To:
URGENT BULLETIN
From the Office of the New York City Police Commissioner
Dear New York African American Citizen,
It appears a hate group we've been aware of for some time has once again reared its ugly head in our beloved NYC. The name of this group is the New York City Police Department. Sorry, guys. This one is really "our bad."
We have consistently trained these men in application of lethal force against our own citizenry, especially African Americans, because, well, you aren't to be trusted. For reasons, please reference multiple Harlem race riots, Black Panthers, Civil Rights Movement, et al. It's not that you didn't have your reasons, really, but you're just so damn loud about how you're being mistreated. Why can't you act more like the Puerto Ricans? We're busting their heads all the time, and you don't hear them complaining. Anyway, the historical nature of this behavior has led to a bit of profiling, in that New York City police officers have an open "fire-at-will" policy when they see anyone who is black or suspected of being black involved in questionable activities. To be fair, this is no different than any other urban police force in the country. Seriously, look into it. You'd be surprised how many bodies are swept under the rug, or rolled up in it and thrown into the harbor.
Well, it looks like some of our boys in blue have finally abused this privilege, and started
firing on your children holding hair brushes
. We've included in our "How to Profile A Negroid" training materials that your community is quite concerned about their hair, but we can't control how well these men do in training. That would require some sort of "standard" for allowing a person to be a police officer, and we are simply spread to thin to stop handing out guns to idiots willy-nilly.
Unfortunately, I cannot guarantee this won't happen again. In fact, a similar incident
occurred last November as well. Perhaps this is because our officers start drinking more around October to curb holiday depression. While we resolve these issues, please refrain from using objects in public as much as possible, particularly anything with a handle, like brushes, brooms, coffee mugs, ice cream cones, Pop N' Go mowers, rattles, etc. To assure your complete security, we suggest you stay in your home as much as possible, which shouldn't be a problem since so many of you are unemployed, according to our profiling materials. And please remember: the New York City Police Department does not condone racism even if we practice it, believe in it, and act upon it to a lethal extent on a fairly regular basis. Again, I apologize for any inconvenience.
Yours truly,
Raymond W. Kelly
New York City Police Commissioner
Disclaimer: We at the very politically correct website
www.jesusmisappropriates.com do not condone any of the racist statements made in this letter, but include them only to amusingly show our disgust with the policies and procedures of the NYC police force, and police forces in general. Think we're perpetuating negative stereotypes by including them for a cheap laugh? Drop by and post your comments, and find out why you're a stuck-up do-gooder who can't take a joke. Thanks for reading!