| Subject: Revised "Bank of Amerika" |
| From: "Barrett Brown" <barriticus@gmail.com> |
| Date: 10/16/07, 19:47 |
| To: "Kevin Depew" <kdepew@minyanville.com>, jrohrlich@minyanville.com |
Episode:
Bank of Amerika (Yahoo Format)
Barrett Brown
Hoofy: Good evening. Bank of America has launched a $25 million dollar advertising blitz that's aimed at increasing its share of wealthy clientèle. Execs hope that the campaign will help the financial institution shake its image as a bank catering mainly to the working class, and instead make it an appealing option for high-dollar clients with at least $3 million to invest. We'll be right back with more.
Producer: And... we're clear!
Boo: You know, I read they were going to be doing this ad campaign, to try to attract wealthier customers.
Hoofy: Uh-huh.
Boo: Spending $25 million on it.
Hoofy: Yeah, that's what I just said.
Boo: And I've seen some of the ads. They're... you know, they're okay.
Hoofy: (Irritated) What are you getting at, Boo?
Boo: Well, Hoofy, it just so happens that I've always been sort of interested in advertising myself.
Hoofy: Oh, no.
Boo: ... and I put together this little package here, and I was hoping-
Hoofy: We're not showing it on the air, Boo. We still have to do the story about James Carville getting into that knife fight.
Boo: Come on, I was up all night working on this.
Hoofy: (tired) Fine, we'll take a look.
Producer: Three, two, one!
Boo: Welcome back! Now, Bank of America's current campaign is okay it appeals to new money sensibilities with all this talk about Ferraris and Cobras and whatnot. But what I've noticed about a lot of these new money people is that they really want to feel like old money people. So I think that early 20th century, symphonic music is the way to go with these TV spots.
Hoofy: Boo.
Boo: Okay, here we go. So I've got this ad aimed at convincing wealthy investors that Bank of America is the way to go. Producer, can we roll that?
Cue YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLcc19mt4eA
00:00 to 00:17
Back to studio; Hoofy's mouth is gaping open, Boo looks satisfied with his work
Boo: Pretty good production values, huh?
Hoofy: Boo, that was the Soviet national anthem.
Boo: Oh, I don't know, maybe it is. Good stuff, though, right? I like the grainy, sort of European baroque feel to it very la-di-da, you know? Wealthy people eat that stuff up with a spoon. But whatever it is, it's not copyrighted. And that's the key - no licensing fees! That's why I can charge so much less than my competitors in theet 'traditional' advertising world -
Hoofy: Hoofy, they're not copyrighted because it's old Soviet propaganda. And the point of the ad campaign is to get wealthy investors comfortable investing with Bank of America. They're not going to go for all of this communist stuff. Makes it look like they're gonna... nationalize their bank accounts or something.
Boo: Oh, come on, no one's going to notice that it's from the Soviet Union! Plus, you haven't even seen the whole thing yet. Producer?
Cue YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLcc19mt4eA
00:41 to 00:53
Hoofy: Oh, come on!
Boo: What?
Hoofy: You've got a picture of Vladimir Lenin right there!
Boo: Where?
Hoofy: Where - on the train, next to all of the Soviet flags!
Boo: Oh, that's who that is... thought it was Michael Chertoff... well... I'll take $5 million for it.
Hoofy: You don't have much experience in advertising, do you?
Boo: (Haughty) Nothing "formal," no.
Hoofy: Good night.
Boo: $4 million.
Fin, Comrades!