Revised "Bank of Amerika" Script
Subject: Revised "Bank of Amerika" Script
From: "Barrett Brown" <barriticus@gmail.com>
Date: 10/12/07, 09:59
To: "Kevin Depew" <kdepew@minyanville.com>

Kevin-

Here's the tweaked version of this that we talked about the other line - I changed up a few lines to indicate that Boo picked Soviet propaganda because it's got elegant music and doesn't require licensing fees, which I think should take care of any confusion.

Barrett

Episode: Bank of Amerika (Fox Format)


Barrett Brown


Hoofy: Good evening. Bank of America has launched a $25 million dollar advertising blitz that's aimed at increasing its share of wealthy clientèle. The move comes after the bank's acquisition of U.S. Trust, which itself has long been known for providing wealth management service to some of the nation's richest families, including the Rockefellers and Vanderbilts. Bank of America execs hope that the new marketing campaign will help the financial institution shake its own image as a purely blue-collar bank catering mainly to the working class, and instead make it an appealing option for high-dollar clients with at least $3 million to invest.


Boo: You know, I read they were going to be doing this ad campaign, to try to attract wealthier customers.


Hoofy: Uh-huh.


Boo: Spending $25 million on it.


Hoofy: Yeah, that's what I just said.


Boo: And I've seen some of the ads. They're... you know, they're okay.


Hoofy: (Irritated) What are you getting at, Boo?


Boo: Well, Hoofy, it just so happens that I've always been sort of interested in advertising myself.


Hoofy: Oh, no.


Boo: ... and I put together this little package here, and I was hoping-


Hoofy: We're not showing it on the air, Boo. We still have to do the story about James Carville getting into that knife fight.


Boo: Come on, I was up all night working on this.


Hoofy: (tired) Fine, let's see it.


Boo: Great. Now, Bank of America's current campaign is okay – it appeals to new money sensibilities with all this talk about Ferraris and Cobras and whatnot. But what I've noticed about a lot of these new money people is that they really want to feel like old money people. So I think that early 20th century, symphonic music is the way to go with these TV spots. And I'd only charge six million for it... er, seven. Seven milllion.


Hoofy: Boo.


Boo: Okay, so I've got this ad aimed at convincing newly wealthy investors that Bank of America is the way to go. Producer, can we roll that?


Cue YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLcc19mt4eA

00:00 to 00:17


Back to studio; Hoofy's mouth is gaping open, Boo looks satisfied with his work


Boo: Pretty good production values, huh?


Hoofy: Boo, was that the Soviet national anthem?


Boo: That's right. Isn't it elegant? But don't worry, though; it's not even copyrighted. None of these old Soviet propaganda films are copyrighted at all! And that's the key - no licensing fees! That's why I can charge so much less than my competitors in the 'traditional' advertising world -


Hoofy: Hoofy, the point of the ad campaign is to get wealthy investors comfortable investing with Bank of America. They're not going to go for old Soviet propaganda. Makes it look like they're gonna... nationalize their bank accounts or something.


Boo: Now, come on, you haven't even seen the whole ad. Producer, can we...? Thanks.


Cue YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLcc19mt4eA

00:41 to 00:53


Hoofy: Oh, come on!


Boo: What?


Hoofy: You've got a picture of Vladimir Lenin right there!


Boo: Where?


Hoofy: Where - on the train, next to all of the Soviet flags!


Boo: Oh, that's who that is... thought it was Michael Chertoff... well... I'll take $5 million for it.


Hoofy: You don't have much experience in advertising, do you?


Boo: (Haughty) Nothing "formal," no.


Hoofy: Good night.


Boo: $4 million.


Fin, Comrades!