Kevin-
Here's a revised version of the copyright infringement script we read the other day, reformatted so that all the untrue stuff about people suing each other is in the commercial break section. Also switched out the Putin gag for something else, as it would have complicated restructuring.
Thanks,
Barrett
Copyright Infringement Suites (Yahoo Format)
Open on News & Views with Hoofy and Boo Already in Progress
Boo: ... detectives familiar with the case are working under the assumption that the CEO saw his own reflection in a clear pond, fell in love, and attempted to embrace himself, at which point he fell in and drowned.
Hoofy: So, any word on who's going to run Apple now?
Boo: Not yet, but we'll keep our viewers posted.
Hoofy: In other news, search engine giants Google and Yahoo are being sued in federal court by a man who claims to be a member of both the Gogo and Yao tribes of East Africa. The Tanzanian national asserts that the two internet firms stole their respective names from his tribal forebears, and he's now asking for $10,000 in restitution for each member of both tribes.
Boo: Wow.
Hoofy: Though the case is widely expected to be throw out of court, it raises the possibility of other nuisance lawsuits along similar lines.
Boo: Definitely have to keep an eye on that. We'll be right back.
Producer: And... cut to commercial!
Lights down
Hoofy : Happens all the time.
Boo : What?
Hoofy : Oh, these ridiculous little copyright infringement cases. In fact, just the other week, former drug kingpin Manuel Noriega sued Coca-Cola for using the term "coca" in its name.
Boo: No, he didn't.
Hoofy: He absolutely did. And then a pineapple sued Noriega for looking like a pineapple.
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Boo: Hoofy.
Hoofy: And then you've got Captain Morgan suing Captain Crunch who's suing Captain Kirk who's suing Captain America who's suing United States of America...
Boo: Come on.
Hoofy: ... federal government for having injected him with super-soldier serum without first getting the drug approved by the FDA.
Boo: Okay, very good.
Hoofy: Seems there were some... side effects. (Glances down, looks up, nods).
Boo: That's really unnecessary.
Hoofy: Plus, Virgin is suing Steve Forbes.
Boo: Wha- okay, that's just mean. Steve Forbes has been married for-
Hoofy: And, of course, Donald Trump is suing Mark Cuban.
Boo: I don't... okay, I don't get it, their names aren't even similar.
Hoofy: I know. Trump's just an (beep)-hole.
Boo: Are you done?
Hoofy: No, no. Then you've got... (looks up, thinking)... yeah, I'm done.
Boo: Great.
Producer: On in ten!
(pause)
Boo: So... you want to get something to eat later?
Hoofy: Sure, how about Chinese? I know a place around here.
Boo: The food's not actually from China, is it?
Hoofy: No, no, no.
Boo: I'm in.
Producer: Two, one!
(lights up)
Boo: Welcome back. Uh... I totally forgot what I was going to say.
Hoofy: (whispers) Chinese food.
Boo: Ah, yes. Hoofy and I are gonna get some Chinese later. More on the situation as damn it, Hoofy!
Hoofy: To sum up - buy low, sell high. Goodnight, everyone.