Boo: ... but after a lengthy firefight with Egyptian security forces, Sir Branson managed to escape from the Great Pyramid with the Staff of Horus, which he believes will grant him everlasting life.

Hoofy: Always one step ahead, isn't he?

Boo: Absolutely, very competent for an Englishman.

Boo: ... which Trump then ordered to be dipped in 24 karat gold, killing her instantly.

Hoofy: Well, when you sign up to do a reality show, you'd better know what you're getting into.

Boo: ... detectives familiar with the case are working under the assumption that the CEO saw his own reflection in a clear pond, fell in love, and attempted to embrace himself, at which point he fell in and drowned.

Hoofy: So, any word on who's going to run Apple now?

Boo: Not yet, but we'll keep our viewers posted.

Barrett