Copyright Infringement Suites

Open on News & Views with Hoofy and Boo Already in Progress

Boo: ... afterwards, Putin told puzzled reporters that he'd eaten the little boy's heart, quote, "that I might feed off the purity of his soul." Uh, unquote.

Hoofy: I think that's sweet.

Boo: A very touching moment for the Russian president. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.

Producer: Cut to commercial!

Studio lights go up.

Hoofy: Man, I'm sick of doing these human interest stories.

Boo: I know, right?

(pause)

Boo: So, you wanna get something to eat later?

Hoofy: Sure. How about Chinese? I know a good place nearby.

Boo: The food's not actually from China, is it?

Hoofy: No, no.

Boo: I'm in.

Hoofy: Great, we'll head over -

Producer: On in ten!

Boo: What? That's a pretty short commercial break.

Producer: Yeah, it was a Citigroup ad.

Hoofy: Ah.

Producer: Budget cuts, you know.

Boo: Very sad.

Producer: Four, three...

Boo: Welcome back. Search engine giants Google and Yahoo are both being sued in federal court by a man who claims to be a member of both the Gogo and Yao tribes of East Africa. The Tanzanian national asserts that the two internet firms stole their respective names from his tribal forebears, and is asking for $10,000 in restitution for each member of both tribes.

Hoofy: Happens all the time.

Boo: What?

Hoofy: Boo, there's been quite a few of these sorts of lawsuits going around lately. Just last week, former drug kingpin Manuel Noriega sued Coca-Cola for using the term "coca" in its name.

Boo: No, he didn't.

Hoofy: Absolutely. And then a pineapple sued Noriega for looking like a pineapple.

Boo: Hoofy.

Hoofy: Plus, Virgin is suing Steve Forbes.

Boo: Wha- okay, that's just mean.

Hoofy: And then you've got Captain Morgan suing Captain Crunch who's suing Captain Kirk who's suing Captain America who's suing the United States federal government...

Boo: Come on.

Hoofy: ... for injecting him with super-soldier serum without first getting the drug approved by the FDA.

Boo: Oh, I see.

Hoofy: Seems there were some... side effects. (Glances down, looks up, nods).

Boo: That's really unnecessary.

Hoofy: And, of course, Donald Trump is suing Mark Cuban.

Boo: What? I don't... their names aren't even similar.

Hoofy: I know. Trump's just an (beep)-hole.

Boo: Well, that's not even news.

Hoofy: Goodnight, everyone.