Re: Couples Retreat Copy
Subject: Re: Couples Retreat Copy
From: "Barrett Brown" <barriticus@gmail.com>
Date: 8/31/07, 13:01
To: "Lora Poe" <Lora.Poe@lavanduladesign.com>

No problem, here's a rewrite. Let me know if this works for them.


Couples By the Sea

For those of our members who have attended in previous years, YPO's annual couples retreat has become a cherished tradition. If you've yet to join us, this is the time to sign up; this year's event is set to be the most superbly exquisite outing to date.

Our three-day Couples By the Sea venture takes members to The Lodge at Pebble Beach, routinely deemed to be among North America 's finest resorts by such noted arbiters of the upscale as Golf Magazine and Robb Report. Here, couples will find ample opportunity to enjoy each other's company while also enjoying themselves; among other things, the California resort offers tennis, biking, equestrian and hiking trails, five-star restaurants, wine tours, whale watching, complete spa facilities, and shopping of the sort that will appeal to husband and wife alike. And as one might expect from such a Pebble Beach mainstay, The Lodge is also home to four championship golf courses. Meanwhile, nearby Carmel-on-the-Sea provides visitors with an unparalleled array of cultural opportunities in the similarly splendid setting for which the little artist colony has long been known. 

Sign up soon; our couples retreats are understandably popular.


 

Sign up soon  — this trip is sure to be a sell out!



On 8/31/07, Lora Poe <Lora.Poe@lavanduladesign.com> wrote:
Barrett,

See below. We need to soften this copy up a little.

Lora

__________
Lora Poe
Lavandula Design
(la- van' due- lah  de- sign)
Office: 713.589.8544 x105
Direct: 713.553.3927
Fax: 281.920.9407










Begin forwarded message:

From: Peter Shaper <pshaper@caprock.com>
Date: August 31, 2007 10:01:50 AM CDT
To: Lora Poe <Lora.Poe@lavanduladesign.com>, Kimberly Duffy < kduffy@caprock.com>
Subject: RE: Couples Retreat Copy

Sorry but I am not a fan of the "compromise" and the separate parts.  The point of our Couples Retreat is to enjoy being together.  Can we take another stab?  Have they reviewed the language we used on our invitations before?

 


Peter Shaper
CEO
CapRock Communications
4400 S. Sam Houston Parkway E.
Houston, Texas 77048
Office: 832 668 2700

pshaper@caprock.com
www.caprock.com






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From: Lora Poe [mailto:Lora.Poe@lavanduladesign.com]
Sent: Friday, August 31, 2007 8:56 AM
To: Kimberly Duffy; Peter Shaper
Subject: Couples Retreat Copy

 

Peter and Kimberly,

 

This is the initial copy that our writer came up with for the Couples Retreat. This would be for the website.

 

Please email me any edits.

 

_____________

 

Couples By the Sea

 

Compromise is often said to be the key to a successful marriage. To the contrary, this year's YPO couples getaway aims to rekindle that old romance by giving both partners exactly what they want.

 

Our three-day Couples By the Sea event takes members to The Lodge at Pebble Beach , routinely deemed to be among North America's finest resorts by such noted arbiters of the upscale as Golf Magazine and Robb Report. Here, couples will find ample opportunity to enjoy each other's company while also enjoying themselves; among other things, the California resort offers tennis, biking, equestrian and hiking trails, five-star restaurants, wine tours, complete spa facilities, and shopping of the sort that will appeal to husband and wife alike. And because part of being together is spending time apart, couples will enjoy going their separate ways as well – nearby Carmel offers an endless array of boutiques, and The Lodge is home to four championship golf courses.

 

Sign up soon  — this trip is sure to be a sell out!