| Subject: Experienced Freelance Marketing Copywriter |
| From: "Barrett Brown" <barriticus@gmail.com> |
| Date: 7/31/07, 14:27 |
| To: job-386023142@craigslist.org |
Sirs-
I
understand that your company is looking for a copywriter to handle some marketing collateral on a freelance basis, and I'd like to be considered.
I've performed work under similar arrangements both for ad agencies
as well as my own clients, including tech, energy, and real estate
firms, my other freelance work has appeared in dozens of publications
ranging from humor mags like National Lampoon and The Onion
A.V. Club to B2B pubs covering dining, nightlife, and retail, and
my first non-fiction book was released last March to praise from
Rolling Stone, Air America Radio, Skeptic, and Harvard
constitutional scholar Alan Dershowitz, among other sources.
I've pasted a couple of samples below;
the first is a pretty straight-laced pamphlet for a tech company
based in New York, the second is a much more unconventional press
release for a tech company based in Chicago, and the third is a
series of promotional restaurant write-ups. My minimum rate is $18 an hour, although I can also do projects for a fixed fee.
Please take a look at the samples provided and let me know if you'd be interested in discussing this further.
Thanks,
Barrett Brown
512-560-2302
(Cover)
Organic Motion
Reinvisioning Vision
"What's not to like here?" - Newsweek
(Page One)
TBA Reinvisioning Motion Capture
After four years of under-the-radar development, Organic Motion Inc. is set to release the product that will not only redefine motion capture as we know it, but will also bring the technology into the day-to-day lives of those who may never have even heard of it.
Organic Motion's newly-released TBA system shatters the barriers inherent to pre-organic motion capture implementation by ditching the assumptions that have limited the field's potential for more than twenty years. TBA is not an incremental advance in established mopac techniques rather, it is a comprehensive, top-down overhaul of the entire process, fueled by scientific breakthroughs in computer optics, AI, and the methodology by which the two are combined, and further augmented with a streamlined workflow implementation that cuts time, cuts costs, and cuts manpower requirements. We haven't improved on the wheel; we've reinvented it.
Fundamental to this reinvention is TBA's extraordinarily unique optical computer intelligence engine, which allows for computerized visualization of the actual human subject itself by way of a pre-programmed conceptual "map" of what a human body looks like, how a human body moves, and where a human's natural body points are located. Bringing the human into human movement detection is not only a natural progression of mocap tech, but is also one of tremendous benefit to every stage of the process, from initial capture to finished product.
The extent of TBA's strength and accuracy is such that one major Northeastern research hospital has partnered with Organic Motion to obtain a grant from the National Institute of Health to use the technology in a study of the effects of cerebral palsy on human movement; the extent of TBA's customability and ease of use is such that several diverse firms are already making plans to implement it in ways that would have been previously impossible due to the constraints of earlier mocap. Imagine what it can do for your studio.
(Page Two)
Reinvisioning Entertainment
Whereas pre-organic mocap systems required a human subject to be clad in an expensive, cumbersome bodysuit studded with reflecting markers, TBA requires no suit, nor any prep time at all; subjects may simply walk onto the camera zone dressed in street clothes, and the system will immediately capture their every move. Whereas previous mocap systems recorded the positions of a few dozen attached markers, thus giving only a general impression of the body's movement, TBA tracks the body itself and does so at thousands of natural points recognized by the system's advanced visual mapping AI, from the joints of one's limbs right down to the corners of one's eyes. And whereas previous mocap systems entailed a severe degree of lag between capture and usability, the necessity of technician oversight during use, and weeks of manual data cleanup before an accurate recording could be put into play, TBA eliminates all of these things, delivering clean, usable data in real time, not at some unknown time in the future.
The implications are profound for game developers, 3D animators, university project managers, special effects broadcasters, and anyone else who has already incorporated mocap into their studio output as well as those who haven't. By lowering the financial threshold for mocap implementation, we turn it into a viable option for those entities engaged in lower-budget projects of the sort that might not have justified the advantages of the technology due to cost considerations. And with the hundred-fold increase in capture accuracy, teams of every shape and size will see dramatic benefits in the quality of their finished product and they'll see those benefits immediately, thanks to the clean, real time feedback which allows animators to get a full sense of how the data is playing out during the recording process itself, thus freeing them from the technical concerns inherent to pre-organic mocap (did we mention that TBA's organic approach to point tracking entails absolutely no occlusion whatsoever? Pretty sexy, huh?) and encouraging them to get more closely involved in every stage of the creative process.
Our reinvention of mocap promises to similarly redefine the industry, which is why TBA's unveiling at the 2007 Game Developers Conference in San Francisco and subsequent demonstrations of the technology's revolutionary potential have so far won us some rather unreserved accolades from Newsweek, Macworld, Engadget, Game Daily, Gamasutra, and others. Organic Motion has already received deposits in advance of the initial product release, with the first one hundred units set for delivery in September 2007.
Get on board. We're reinvisioning vision.
(Page Three Specs, Etc.)
June 22, 2007
For Immediate Release
Contact: Tony Anglesey 773.572.6793
Riight.com Anglesey Interactive, Inc.
225 W. Washington, Suite 2200
Chicago
IL, 60601
Phone: (773) 572-6793
Innovative New Search Engine Promises To Crush Competitors, Non-Competitors
Riight.com's Unprecedented Functionality Superior To That of Google, Yahoo, People's Republic of China
The balance of power among search engine providers and nation states alike is set
to shift as Anglesey Interactive, Inc. launches its Riight.com search engine, an innovative
new system which not only provides web page, video, audio, news, and image results from dozens of
individual search engines, databases, and content providers, but which also offers the use of several
revolutionary smart search tools entirely new to the industry.
Riight.com's comprehensive metasearch capabilities are augmented by automatic search history
logging, giving users a complete and instant record of what key terms they've used and
when they've used them, thereby eliminating accidental backtracking and general disorganization.
Likewise, the engine's integrated bookmarking tool provides users with a complete list of pages they've
visited and when they've visited them. Taken together, Riight.com's innovative approach provides the
user with a smarter, more powerful, more streamlined search than those available from other, lesser
search interfaces, as well as from the People's Republic of China, which provides users with
absolutely no search functionality whatsoever and is in fact not even a piece of software, but rather a
conventional socio-national entity possessed of a skyrocketing male-to-female ratio, this being a
demographic trend which has historically led to civil unrest and disaster.
As Riight.com proceeds with the development of other, similarly advantageous features
scheduled for release later in the year, those who would oppose our smarter search solutions would do
well to remember that, though officially headquartered in Chicago, our company's human assets are
actually scattered across the globe. The benefit of this decentralized status is two-fold: it thus provides
our employees with a degree of individual freedom conducive to the sort of creative, outside-the-box
thinking necessary to develop similarly creative, outside-the-box solutions, and it also renders us
effectively immune from air strikes and invasions. Can China with its largely coastal-concentrated
industrial assets and Beijing-centralized executive leadership say the same? Our intelligence indicates
otherwise.
Welcome to the 21st century. It's the Riight time for a smarter search.
Fran's Hamburgers
With the faux-classic hamburger stand being a moderately popular motif among several large fast food chains that shall remain nameless, it's refreshing to hit up a genuine article in which the waitresses are caustic in a cute, endearing way and in which the interior is done up all wacky not out of purposeful irony, but because the Eisenhower-era designers really thought that this was how a restaurant should look. Fran's is a burger-lover's burger joint, offering their wonderfully greasy item of specialty in three sizes, and further supplementing one's caloric intake with sides representing the fries-and-onion-rings school of understated accompaniment. Things tend to get understandably hectic around midday; resign yourself to lunchtime delays. Great For: Cheap burgers, people who enjoy being called "darlin'." Entrees: $2-6 (1822 S. Congress, 444-5738; 6214 Cameron, 458-6007)
Freda's Seafood Grille
Although the restaurant's billing of itself as "American-Cajun" may be technically redundant, the description does get the point across - in matters of decor, Freda's opts for Upscale Antiseptic chic over the Anarchic Crawfish Shack Out In The Swamp sensibility which has served so many informal Cajun joints so well for so long; in matters of cuisine, Freda borrows liberally from all comers, with the result being such things as bacon-wrapped sea scallops, pine nut-crusted trout, and a selection of steaks and pastas benefiting from the sort of ingenious Cajun culinary preparation in exchange for which the rest of the nation has duly forgiven Louisiana its rampant, eternal corruption. Great For: When only the fanciest gumbo will do. Entrees: $14-29 (10903 Pecan Park, 506-8700)
Green Mesquite Barbeque & More
Green Mesquite is pretty serious about the "more" mentioned in its extended moniker; beyond brisket and such, the Barton Springs mainstay (and its West Oak counterpart) deals in catfish, po' boys, burgers, tacos, chicken fried steak doused in enough gravy to drown a baby elephant, and even jambalaya; all of this is made more accessible by way of the restaurant's all-you-can-eat option, which goes for even cheaper on Mondays and Tuesdays, when it becomes one of the city's truly great culinary bargains. In a nod to Texas BBQ orthodoxy, Green Mesquite offers bottles of Sunkist and Big Red; in rebellion against same, it also offers salads and even veggie burgers. Great For: Getting stuffed after a dip at Barton Springs. Entrees: $3-14 (1400 Barton Spring, 479-0485; 710 Highway 71, 288-8300)
Back To School Special: Dining
Like going to college to pursue a liberal arts degree, learning to dine out like a true Austinite can be a long, time-intensive process, although it is also unlike going to college for a liberal arts degree insomuch as that it is of real and demonstrable benefit and does not cost tens of thousands of dollars. Thus it is that we provide this comprehensive cheat sheet to the city's most iconic culinary mainstays.
Starting out each day with a big, nutritious breakfast is allegedly very important. Austin has two local favorites on that front Kerbey Lane Cafe and Magnolia Cafe, both of which are open around the clock and serve pretty much everything that anyone could possibly want to eat, from gingerbread pancakes to sour cream omelets to hummus, though Kerbey also offers a separate vegan menu and makes a point of getting much of its produce from a nearby organic farm, whereas Magnolia manages to cultivate a more pleasingly living room-ish atmosphere.
We've also got plenty of Mexican food, natch. Matt's El Rancho, for instance, has been around for some very long period of time. Like all truly great Mexican restaurants, Matt's operates from a ridiculously long menu filled with everything that rural Mexicans like to eat, plus plenty of things that they don't, like Atlantic salmon. On the more unorthodox side, you've got Trudy's Tex-Mex, known for its crab enchiladas, Mexican martinis, and attractive people who have been drinking lots of Mexican martinis. The first location is within stumbling distance of campus.
No, no, there's more. Chango's is the place to go for fish taos, particularly when you're in a hurry to get back to class or another restaurant that doesn't serve fish tacos. Polvo's is the place to go when you want some interior Mexican and have plenty of time to sit around and smoke. Chuy's is the place to go for fajitas. It's also one of several places where the Bush twins were busted for trying to use a fake ID. This is a very important thing to know.
We've also got pizza. In fact, Austin has about the same number of places with "pizza" in the title as Dallas does and about a fourth of the population. It's a saturated market, but Conan's Pizza has thrived for well over thirty years thanks to its eternally-nifty, Chicago-style deep dish.
Likewise, our things-served-between-two-pieces-of-bread infrastructure is second to none. Thundercloud, our resident sub sandwich chain, caters to local tastes in a way that most others don't by way of such ingredients as avocado and hummus. Meanwhile, Opal Divine's Freehouse ranks among Austin's finest pub-eateries, stocked as it is with Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, award-winning fries, and several dozen sorts of whiskey. Hut's Hamburgers rudely monopolizes all of the local burger-based awards by way of the sheer quality of its patties, the maddening quantity of its potential ingredients, and the charmingly archaic monikers of its individual items the Richie Valens Burger has guacamole, chulo. And Stubb's BBQ stands out in a crowded field by virtue of its sauce, which is sold nationwide, and also because it's one of the city's most storied and perpetually relevant music venues in a city known for such things.
If one gets homesick, we're here for you. But so is Threadgills, which has long been Austin's foremost spot for southern comfort food specialties of the chicken fried streak persuasion, and which is second only to the state capitol in the extent to which local history seeps from its walls back in 1933, it was the first venue in the city to obtain a post-Prohibition liquor license, and in the subsequent decades it played host to the likes of Jerry Lee Lewis before eventually reinventing itself as one-part restaurant and two-parts civic museum. And if one gets homesick for ice cream, whatever that means, local favorite Amy's Ice Cream has a dozen locations throughout Austin.
You're welcome.